WEBVTT

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Come.

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Are you horny?

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Are you OK?

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Sure?

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Relax, relax, hey, relax.

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What\'s wrong?

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Relax, relax. We\'re here.

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Hey, what\'s wrong?

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Rafa man, what\'s wrong?

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Relax, don\'t worry.

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My Emptiness and I

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What is your female name?

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My female name?

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- Do you have a female name?
- No.

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And if you had one? What would it be?

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I don\'t know.
I\'ve never thought about it.

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Okay, so I\'ll put Raphael, Okay?

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If you want put Raphaëlle with LL and E,
which is the female version in French.

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- ¿With F or...?
- PH.

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PH.

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Rapha... ëlle.

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- LL and E at the end.
- LL and E at the end.

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- \"Raphael\"?
- Raphaëlle.

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Oh, Raphaëlle.

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Okay, so... it sounds the same
in masculine and feminine.

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Alright.

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How do you define yourself?

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What do you mean
how do I define myself?

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I mean, um...

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You define yourself:
I am a boy, I am a girl...

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- I\'m a boy, of course.
- I\'m a boy.

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And how do you feel?

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What do you mean how do I feel?
I don\'t understand these questions.

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There\'s a difference.
One thing is how do you define yourself.

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You name yourself. Another thing
is how you feel more intimately.

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If you close your eyes
and you let yourself feel...

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Do you feel like a girl?
Do you feel like a girl or a boy?

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Well, what is feeling like a girl
or feeling like a boy? I don\'t...

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It\'s something very deep and intimate.
I can\'t answer that for you.

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Well, neither can I.

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Okay, don\'t answer that.

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But I see that you go around
dressed like a woman.

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Well, yes...

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Do you usually
dress like a woman?

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When I was studying in Paris
I did dress like a woman.

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I don\'t know, I like feminine clothes.

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Alright, I\'ll note that down. Okay.

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Moving on to the more intimate
questions.

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What did you play with
when you were little?

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- With dolls.
- Dolls.

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How did you pee?

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- Sitting.
- Sitting.

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Did you wear a bra?

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No.

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You didn\'t pretend to...

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I know that when you\'re a child
you don\'t have breasts, but you pretend.

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Just like you played with dolls...

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- Did you wear one?
- No, no.

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No.

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Alright.

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How did you masturbate?

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I don\'t know what to say.

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For example, when you masturbated,
did you look at yourself?

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- Did you look at your genitals?
- No.

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That was the question.

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To know if you did it
with the lights on or in the dark.

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So you could look at yourself
or not. That was the question.

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Those were
the most difficult questions.

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Wait, let me start the update.

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OK. I have to do a synchronisation
that will take thirty minutes...

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and in thirty minutes
you should have the internet back.

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Okay?

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Please, stop insisting
or I will have to hang up.

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Okay fine, listen: goodbye.

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- Hello?
- Hello.

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- Hi, dad.
- Hi Rapha! How are you?

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- Fine, you?
- Fine.

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- Yeah?
- What\'s wrong? You sound strange.

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No, I just left the psychologist.

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And?

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So...

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She told me that...

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apparently, it\'s gender dysphoria.

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Gender dysphoria? What\'s that?

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I didn\'t quite understand because
I was in shock, but basically...

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She thinks that…

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Actually, she thinks that
I\'m a girl in a boy\'s body.

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That\'s it basically.

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Alright.

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So, what do you have to do?

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I don\'t really know.

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She talked about
a hormonal treatment, but...

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I don\'t know, it seems really...

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I feel like I have no choice.

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She just informed me...

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and now I have to make a decision.

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She\'s sending me
to the endocrinologist, but…

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I don\'t know. It seems...

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Sweetheart, in any case...

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we have to do something.

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Yes, but... do what?

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Gender Dysphoria

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DO YOU THINK I\'M A LEGITIMATE GIRL?

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LEGITIMATE FOR?

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THAT\'S FOR YOU TO DECIDE.

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YES
YOU\'RE RIGHT.

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#LOVEISINTHEAIR
BUT IT\'S BLOWING THE WRONG WAY

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Álex. According to his profile,
he\'s thirty years old.

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He\'s amazing. Look.

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He\'s handsome, right?

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It\'s just to take off a little bit.

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It happens to me too,
when I put on makeup at home,

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later I\'ll look at myself
in my car mirror,

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it\'s too much and
I have to remove it.

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It happens sometimes.

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Don\'t worry, I\'ll take it off.

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Okay.

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- Raphi?
- Hi.

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Hi, I\'m Alex.

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How are you?
Sorry I\'m late.

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- Fine, and you?
- Fine, have you been waiting long?

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- No, not at all.
- Okay. Okay.

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- Where are you from?
- I\'m French.

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- Yes, you have an accent.
- Yes, horrible, right?

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No, come on, I love it.
I lived in Paris.

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- Whereabouts in France?
- I was born in Perpignan.

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- What do you do?
- I\'m a musician.

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- Musician? Wow.
- Yes.

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- How cool is that.
- I play the guitar.

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- I have an Indie band, in Catalan.
- Cool!

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Yes, it\'s really nice.
And you? You\'re also really creative.

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Well, yes. I write sometimes...

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- Do you write too?
- Yes, I write.

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I like a lot of things.

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I like art in general,
photography, fashion, but...

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Of course, fashion.

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Why did you choose to be
a designer or...?

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Well, I’m not a designer.
I work in a call centre.

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- Well, still...
- Yeah, fashion...

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- Well... it\'s my passion
- Our job isn\'t who we are.

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- We are what we like.
- That\'s true. Yes, totally.

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Me too, I was into this
since I was little, and...

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Did you dress up as a child?

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- I imagine...
- With my mother\'s clothes.

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- Did you?
- Of course. I made up my stories...

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And you design your own...?

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Because it\'s really flamboyant,
but in a cool way.

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- Really? You like it?
- Yes.

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Nice. I\'m glad.

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What do you think of me?

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- I don\'t know, I like yours too.
- Yeah?

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Yes, a lot...

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- Musician look.
- Yeah, a bit. It suits you.

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Yeah.

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It\'s a bit late.

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- I have to go.
- Yeah?

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- Okay.
- It\'s a bit late for me.

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- Did you enjoy yourself?
- I did.

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- Yeah? Me too.
- Cool.

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- I really liked getting to know you.
- Thank you, me too.

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Well, it\'s a shame that
you\'re leaving alone like this.

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Well, if you want
to tell me something more...

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What?
What do you want me to tell you?

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Something about you,
I don\'t know.

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Like what?
I don\'t know. What do you want to know?

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Well.
I\'ve always been with girls.

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I mean, with \"girls-girls\".
That were born girls.

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So I\'m...

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I mean, it doesn\'t bother me.

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But I didn\'t know
if you wanted to tell me.

00:12:48.440 --> 00:12:50.780
I don\'t know what to tell you, I mean...

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Yes, I was born...

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a boy
but it doesn\'t make me less of a girl.

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- I mean, I don\'t think so.
- No, of course.

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I don\'t know.

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- See you another day?
- Yes.

00:13:16.910 --> 00:13:19.020
- Well, I\'m leaving.
- Okay.

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- Take care.
- Take care.

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- Bye.
- We\'ll talk, okay?

00:13:22.310 --> 00:13:23.820
Okay, perfect.

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That\'s it! Wow!

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Come on!

00:13:45.960 --> 00:13:48.230
Much better!

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That\'s how I like it! Good, Raphi!

00:13:50.750 --> 00:13:54.410
I want you to push harder.

00:13:55.550 --> 00:13:59.000
Okay, let\'s turn around, Sexy!

00:14:00.050 --> 00:14:05.180
That\'s it, loosen your shoulders...
A little bigger.

00:14:05.290 --> 00:14:08.770
That\'s it! This is almost over.

00:14:09.180 --> 00:14:13.110
And each time
we raise our arms, we yell.

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I can\'t hear you!

00:14:17.640 --> 00:14:21.620
- How are you feeling?
- Fine, honestly. I\'m fine.

00:14:21.730 --> 00:14:23.190
You look really good.

00:14:23.770 --> 00:14:28.060
Have you noticed any side effects
since the treatment started?

00:14:28.170 --> 00:14:31.430
At first, yes.
A lot of mood swings.

00:14:32.110 --> 00:14:36.230
Everything affected me,
I cried without knowing why...

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Things like that.
And now, I\'m getting used to it,

00:14:40.300 --> 00:14:42.300
and I\'m doing better.

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You are dealing with your emotions

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All these changes
are normal with oestrogens.

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Alright.

00:14:49.830 --> 00:14:52.720
It is clear that
you look a lot more feminine.

00:14:52.830 --> 00:14:55.000
- Thank you.
- The analysis is correct.

00:14:55.110 --> 00:14:57.000
I think it\'s the perfect time

00:14:57.110 --> 00:14:59.820
to have your first meeting
with the surgeon.

00:15:00.100 --> 00:15:02.090
- What do you think?
- With the surgeon?

00:15:02.200 --> 00:15:03.240
Yes.

00:15:05.910 --> 00:15:07.570
It would be the first visit.

00:15:07.680 --> 00:15:11.380
Have you seriously thought
about reassignment?

00:15:13.290 --> 00:15:15.630
Well, it seems really early.

00:15:15.740 --> 00:15:18.330
I mean, I\'m not...

00:15:19.000 --> 00:15:20.530
at that stage yet.

00:15:22.010 --> 00:15:25.360
- Let me tell you, you\'re at this stage.
- What do you mean?

00:15:25.470 --> 00:15:28.000
You\'ve done the whole treatment
for a year...

00:15:28.110 --> 00:15:29.860
One year seems very little to me.

00:15:30.170 --> 00:15:32.120
But, have you made a decision?

00:15:33.090 --> 00:15:34.330
Not yet.

00:15:36.510 --> 00:15:40.390
Have you had any sexual intercourse
this year?

00:15:40.830 --> 00:15:42.630
- No.
- No.

00:15:43.610 --> 00:15:44.740
Alright.

00:15:47.250 --> 00:15:48.610
Let\'s see...

00:15:50.430 --> 00:15:54.540
I think I can give you
two or three months

00:15:54.650 --> 00:15:57.720
so you can make
an informed decision

00:15:57.830 --> 00:15:59.740
of what you really want to do.

00:16:00.720 --> 00:16:03.560
- I\'ll explain.
- I know what I want right now.

00:16:03.670 --> 00:16:04.910
What do you want?

00:16:05.980 --> 00:16:08.220
I want to meet a man
who loves me as I am

00:16:08.330 --> 00:16:10.790
without having to change, that\'s it.

00:16:10.900 --> 00:16:11.920
Right.

00:16:13.240 --> 00:16:15.300
Can I give you a personal advice

00:16:15.410 --> 00:16:18.920
supported by years of experience
in this department?

00:16:20.490 --> 00:16:25.090
If you continue to have
a male sexual organ,

00:16:25.200 --> 00:16:27.880
you\'ll be fetishized

00:16:27.990 --> 00:16:30.670
by the majority of the men you meet

00:16:30.780 --> 00:16:33.790
and you\'ll probably feel
like a sex object.

00:16:33.900 --> 00:16:35.710
I\'m not really sure.

00:16:36.380 --> 00:16:38.580
Unfortunately, that\'s how it is.

00:16:38.690 --> 00:16:40.970
Some won\'t, but that\'s the usual.

00:16:41.450 --> 00:16:45.340
If it\'s okay for you, let\'s see
each other again in a few months.

00:16:45.450 --> 00:16:46.910
- Okay.
- Meanwhile, continue

00:16:47.020 --> 00:16:49.610
with the hormone treatment
like you\'ve been doing

00:16:49.720 --> 00:16:51.930
and try to have sexual intercourse

00:16:52.040 --> 00:16:53.800
to see what happens, how you feel.

00:16:53.910 --> 00:16:56.140
- Where you stand.
- Okay.

00:16:56.240 --> 00:16:59.920
FRENCH, ROMANTIC AND TRANS.

00:17:00.800 --> 00:17:03.170
WOW! YOU DON\'T LOOK TRANS.

00:17:04.420 --> 00:17:07.640
- WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE THEN?
- A GIRL.

00:17:07.750 --> 00:17:09.030
Raphaëlle.

00:17:12.460 --> 00:17:13.960
HAVE YOU HAD SURGERY?

00:17:14.220 --> 00:17:15.700
NO

00:17:16.800 --> 00:17:18.480
THEN WHY DON\'T YOU LOOK FOR A GIRL?

00:17:18.620 --> 00:17:21.080
BECAUSE I\'M STRAIGHT

00:17:22.020 --> 00:17:23.560
THAT TURNS ME ON

00:17:23.740 --> 00:17:25.100
TURNS YOU ON?

00:17:25.260 --> 00:17:26.460
THE UNKNOWN

00:17:26.620 --> 00:17:28.400
I\'M NOT AN ALIEN

00:17:34.880 --> 00:17:35.800
Hello.

00:17:36.170 --> 00:17:37.390
- Hello.
- You\'re Aitor, right?

00:17:37.500 --> 00:17:39.470
- Yes, and you are Raphi?
- Yes.

00:17:39.580 --> 00:17:41.740
- How are you?
- Fine, and you?

00:17:41.850 --> 00:17:43.020
I\'m fine, too.

00:17:44.970 --> 00:17:48.090
You look definitely better in person

00:17:48.240 --> 00:17:49.780
compared to your photos.

00:17:49.880 --> 00:17:53.930
Really? that\'s a compliment,
thank you.

00:17:58.150 --> 00:18:00.570
- You seem nervous.
- No.

00:18:00.680 --> 00:18:02.090
- Aren\'t you?
- No.

00:18:02.780 --> 00:18:03.830
Okay.

00:18:05.190 --> 00:18:07.810
But are you okay?
You seem...

00:18:07.920 --> 00:18:10.180
very closed off.
Is there something wrong?

00:18:10.290 --> 00:18:12.710
No, I\'m fine, it\'s...

00:18:14.000 --> 00:18:16.500
Nothing... stuff.
You know.

00:18:16.770 --> 00:18:19.280
- Work stuff...
- You can tell me if you need to.

00:18:19.390 --> 00:18:20.920
I don\'t want to see you so...

00:18:21.030 --> 00:18:24.620
I don\'t know you well enough
to tell you all that.

00:18:24.730 --> 00:18:27.470
I don\'t know, I don\'t want
to burden you.

00:18:27.580 --> 00:18:30.030
Me too, I\'m nervous.

00:18:30.140 --> 00:18:32.460
- Maybe you can\'t tell but...
- Doesn\'t seem like it.

00:18:32.570 --> 00:18:33.330
Well, I am.

00:18:33.440 --> 00:18:36.030
It seems like
you do it every day.

00:18:37.220 --> 00:18:38.220
Well.

00:18:38.330 --> 00:18:39.490
Do you usually

00:18:40.350 --> 00:18:43.620
meet up with people
on these kinds of apps to fuck?

00:18:46.330 --> 00:18:49.420
- I don\'t know.
- What do you mean, you don\'t know?

00:18:50.010 --> 00:18:53.910
I\'m looking for boys.
But then meeting up is more difficult.

00:18:56.300 --> 00:18:59.230
Why?
On your side or theirs?

00:19:00.010 --> 00:19:02.110
No, on theirs.

00:19:02.430 --> 00:19:05.040
- Oh really? Why?
- Yes.

00:19:06.260 --> 00:19:07.880
Well...

00:19:11.310 --> 00:19:12.700
I don\'t really know.

00:19:16.380 --> 00:19:19.060
You don\'t really know
or you don\'t want to tell me?

00:19:20.350 --> 00:19:23.810
Well, you can imagine it, can\'t you?
I\'m not gonna draw you a picture.

00:19:24.490 --> 00:19:25.530
Well.

00:19:26.670 --> 00:19:30.070
Let\'s say I don\'t have
a lot of imagination. Tell me.

00:19:31.130 --> 00:19:34.170
No, tell me about you.
Tell me something about yourself.

00:19:34.540 --> 00:19:38.200
You haven\'t even told me where you live,
or what\'s your job. You are the mystery.

00:19:38.310 --> 00:19:41.240
For me, the most important thing
is to be safe, okay?

00:19:41.770 --> 00:19:44.040
Be safe?
What are you talking about?

00:19:44.150 --> 00:19:47.280
I\'m saying this because you told me
I should buy the condoms.

00:19:47.390 --> 00:19:50.380
I thought maybe sometimes
you don\'t use condoms.

00:19:50.490 --> 00:19:52.480
- Do you use condoms?
- What? Of course.

00:19:52.590 --> 00:19:53.740
Okay.

00:19:55.000 --> 00:19:57.740
Isn\'t it normal for me to ask you that?

00:19:58.110 --> 00:20:00.060
- Yes.
- You are the one who\'s gonna wear them.

00:20:00.710 --> 00:20:05.100
Yeah well, I don\'t know.
But If I didn\'t buy them, then what?

00:20:48.260 --> 00:20:50.330
- Is anyone here?
- I don\'t know.

00:20:51.210 --> 00:20:52.330
Come.

00:21:10.880 --> 00:21:14.220
- Nice room.
- Yeah? Thanks.

00:21:28.960 --> 00:21:31.340
- Ready?
- Yes.

00:23:14.280 --> 00:23:17.420
- What\'s wrong?
- It hurts.

00:23:18.410 --> 00:23:20.630
- A little more gentle?
- Yes.

00:24:07.820 --> 00:24:08.930
What\'s wrong?

00:24:17.430 --> 00:24:19.450
- Should we continue?
- No!

00:24:37.850 --> 00:24:39.490
Where\'s the bathroom?

00:24:39.930 --> 00:24:41.690
That way, behind.

00:25:29.160 --> 00:25:30.890
- I\'m gonna go, okay?
- Okay.

00:25:31.610 --> 00:25:35.180
I want the surgery,
but I\'m really lost.

00:25:35.290 --> 00:25:37.210
Because I have many doubts,

00:25:37.480 --> 00:25:39.220
a lot of fear...

00:25:39.430 --> 00:25:42.230
Because if I get the surgery,

00:25:42.340 --> 00:25:46.220
I want to have a normal,

00:25:46.330 --> 00:25:49.650
and functional life,
that if I touch myself, I feel it,

00:25:49.930 --> 00:25:50.990
and everything else.

00:25:51.100 --> 00:25:53.300
In that sense,
I want to tell you that nowadays,

00:25:53.410 --> 00:25:55.310
with almost any surgeon

00:25:55.410 --> 00:25:58.810
you will have
the sensibility issue solved.

00:25:59.390 --> 00:26:04.060
If you\'ve had
a more or less fulfilling sex life,

00:26:04.170 --> 00:26:05.250
as much as possible.

00:26:05.470 --> 00:26:08.260
This will
surely benefit

00:26:08.410 --> 00:26:10.960
the sexuality after the vagina.

00:26:11.070 --> 00:26:12.360
And that\'s not up to the surgeon.

00:26:12.470 --> 00:26:15.890
That also depends on ourselves,
and it\'s one of the things

00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:20.110
that we try to work on here.

00:26:20.220 --> 00:26:22.840
The surgery also scares me a lot.

00:26:23.570 --> 00:26:25.100
It scares me

00:26:25.520 --> 00:26:27.370
because of what it is,
not because of the blood,

00:26:27.470 --> 00:26:29.860
or the operating room...

00:26:29.960 --> 00:26:31.790
I know nothing about the topic,

00:26:31.900 --> 00:26:35.340
and I\'m here because they told me
I\'d find the information

00:26:35.450 --> 00:26:39.150
I need to make a decision.

00:26:39.260 --> 00:26:41.320
I\'m going to ask you a question, Raphi.

00:26:41.720 --> 00:26:45.430
What are
your expectations

00:26:46.060 --> 00:26:47.710
for the vaginoplasty, at the moment?

00:26:47.820 --> 00:26:51.130
When you have a vagina,
the day you do,

00:26:51.660 --> 00:26:54.000
how do you imagine yourself?

00:26:56.330 --> 00:26:58.220
But I don\'t know if I want to have one.

00:26:58.330 --> 00:26:59.840
You don\'t know. Okay.

00:26:59.950 --> 00:27:02.860
- Not yet.
- You still don\'t know.

00:27:03.110 --> 00:27:04.300
Let me tell you something:

00:27:04.410 --> 00:27:07.080
when the time comes
you will be under anaesthesia

00:27:07.190 --> 00:27:09.050
and you won\'t feel a thing.

00:27:09.580 --> 00:27:13.870
We can all agree, I mean
everyone that has gone through it.

00:27:14.230 --> 00:27:17.050
At your age, I would say don\'t worry.

00:27:18.270 --> 00:27:21.260
You will go through
a physical transition

00:27:21.370 --> 00:27:23.170
that is permanent.

00:27:23.990 --> 00:27:28.410
So, give yourself time,
to know when you\'re ready.

00:27:28.520 --> 00:27:32.510
And the real fear
comes when you stop loving yourself.

00:27:32.670 --> 00:27:36.410
If you keep loving yourself,
I don\'t know why but the fear

00:27:36.520 --> 00:27:37.380
doesn\'t...

00:27:37.480 --> 00:27:41.230
But what\'s interesting

00:27:41.440 --> 00:27:44.430
is that, nowadays, you can say that.

00:27:44.540 --> 00:27:49.660
Before, in the 70\'s and 80\'s

00:27:49.770 --> 00:27:52.940
people with

00:27:53.870 --> 00:27:57.490
botched surgeries
didn\'t say anything.

00:27:58.140 --> 00:28:01.210
Because of the fear of being judged.

00:28:02.010 --> 00:28:05.120
Then, we have this one here,
also from Spain.

00:28:05.390 --> 00:28:08.950
We can see that the urinary tract
is very red.

00:28:09.060 --> 00:28:11.220
This is a sign of inflammation

00:28:11.430 --> 00:28:13.760
and possibly an infection

00:28:13.870 --> 00:28:16.220
and it\'s also facing up.

00:28:16.330 --> 00:28:19.650
So, the urine
comes out like a sprinkler

00:28:19.760 --> 00:28:21.510
sometimes, getting their clothes wet,

00:28:21.620 --> 00:28:24.500
even spraying outside
of the toilet. That could happen.

00:28:24.610 --> 00:28:26.980
Above, is the clitoris.
We can see it has

00:28:27.090 --> 00:28:32.940
labia minora and a very small hood
that doesn\'t really cover it.

00:28:33.050 --> 00:28:34.650
That\'s also missing.

00:28:35.370 --> 00:28:36.720
And this one here,

00:28:37.250 --> 00:28:38.840
is a necrosis.

00:28:38.950 --> 00:28:44.220
We can see
the tissue under the clitoris,

00:28:45.980 --> 00:28:49.340
with the corresponding fibrin
and the tissue badly stitched.

00:28:50.190 --> 00:28:55.550
They went back to surgery. And as
all the tissue underneath was damaged

00:28:55.660 --> 00:28:58.530
they faced the clitoris up,
I guess.

00:28:58.870 --> 00:29:01.210
They leave it out.

00:29:01.320 --> 00:29:02.920
That\'s really upsetting.

00:29:39.750 --> 00:29:41.640
- Hello.
- Hello, it\'s Raphi.

00:29:41.750 --> 00:29:42.900
Come in.

00:29:49.580 --> 00:29:50.630
The bass.

00:29:54.510 --> 00:29:56.740
- Your bass.
- I don\'t know how to sing it.

00:29:56.850 --> 00:29:58.460
No, here.

00:30:02.180 --> 00:30:04.610
Ladies, do you know
how to open the wine?

00:30:18.250 --> 00:30:20.430
Fucking hell, what\'s going on here?

00:30:21.180 --> 00:30:22.710
Do you want me to show it to you?

00:30:22.960 --> 00:30:23.940
You think?

00:30:24.040 --> 00:30:26.040
So you can see
what the surgery looks like.

00:30:26.140 --> 00:30:29.230
- Okay.
- Look.

00:30:31.230 --> 00:30:32.330
See?

00:30:32.720 --> 00:30:34.590
It\'s closed, you don\'t see anything,
that\'s how it\'s supposed to be

00:30:34.700 --> 00:30:40.000
because if you see the clitoris,
it can rub and cause problems.

00:30:40.110 --> 00:30:44.620
But if I open it, you can see
the hood of the clitoris, the clitoris,

00:30:45.670 --> 00:30:48.510
here\'s the urethra
and the vaginal opening underneath.

00:30:48.620 --> 00:30:50.920
- Okay.
- I like it a lot.

00:30:51.130 --> 00:30:52.760
Did you imagine it like this?

00:30:52.980 --> 00:30:56.350
I had no idea.
It\'s the first time.

00:30:58.790 --> 00:31:01.140
- Well, now you\'ve seen it.
- Well, yeah.

00:31:02.760 --> 00:31:04.990
Well, that\'s it.

00:31:05.100 --> 00:31:09.380
Other than the fact that I like it,

00:31:09.490 --> 00:31:11.960
it works well because I have orgasms...

00:31:12.070 --> 00:31:14.090
Oh, that\'s great.
That\'s the most important.

00:31:20.390 --> 00:31:22.880
- Raphi.
- Hello. Raphi, nice to meet you.

00:31:22.990 --> 00:31:25.970
Were you playing in our absence
to practice and beat us?

00:31:26.080 --> 00:31:28.810
- I\'m Raphi, nice to meet you.
- Who knows...

00:31:28.920 --> 00:31:32.730
Use your hand as if you\'re shooting
a rifle.

00:31:32.840 --> 00:31:34.010
Like this, don\'t move

00:31:34.320 --> 00:31:36.930
Try to hit it in the middle,
or it will jump.

00:31:37.040 --> 00:31:37.960
- Damn it.
- There.

00:31:38.070 --> 00:31:39.730
- Is it good now?
- Yes, hit it, but...

00:31:40.940 --> 00:31:43.930
- Almost.
- No, I\'m really bad, I\'m sorry ladies.

00:31:44.600 --> 00:31:46.090
I don\'t know how to play this.

00:31:46.360 --> 00:31:48.790
After a while, his friend says:

00:31:48.900 --> 00:31:50.310
You would get along with my friend.

00:31:50.420 --> 00:31:53.130
because he\'s a nature freak like you.

00:31:53.570 --> 00:31:57.690
And then we exchanged numbers,
we started talking,

00:31:57.800 --> 00:32:01.320
we started going to the mountains...
up until today.

00:32:01.470 --> 00:32:02.520
Cool.

00:32:02.720 --> 00:32:04.380
I fell in love on the first day,

00:32:04.490 --> 00:32:08.160
when he jumped
into the mud to see a salamander larva.

00:32:08.270 --> 00:32:10.660
When I saw him on the ground,
I thought: \"That\'s my man!\"

00:32:12.830 --> 00:32:16.230
Someone who dives
into the mud to see a salamander.

00:32:17.630 --> 00:32:19.030
That\'s beautiful.

00:32:19.370 --> 00:32:20.630
I\'m alone.

00:32:22.150 --> 00:32:25.900
But do you meet people?
Do you party?

00:32:27.280 --> 00:32:28.730
Or do you have...?

00:32:30.210 --> 00:32:33.940
I don\'t know.
I don\'t go out much.

00:32:34.890 --> 00:32:39.320
I\'m on Tinder,
like most of us,

00:32:40.570 --> 00:32:43.920
but Tinder grosses me out a bit, for us.
It\'s complicated, isn\'t it?

00:32:44.170 --> 00:32:48.030
Actually, since many boys
don\'t know I\'m trans

00:32:48.140 --> 00:32:51.980
one day, out of the blue,
I bring the topic up:

00:32:52.090 --> 00:32:56.350
\"Because, actually,
all of this gay and trans issues...\"

00:32:56.460 --> 00:32:58.820
And some people say:

00:32:58.930 --> 00:33:02.540
\"Yeah, those people that think
they\'re women\".

00:33:02.650 --> 00:33:04.730
And me:
\"Oh, interesting...\".

00:33:04.840 --> 00:33:07.930
Well because you pass.

00:33:08.840 --> 00:33:09.950
People are like that.

00:33:10.060 --> 00:33:14.280
Later, you go on a date,
they see you and they get scared.

00:33:14.390 --> 00:33:17.350
- And they can behave badly.
- But not with you.

00:33:17.460 --> 00:33:19.450
- I\'m sure they don\'t.
- It has happened to me.

00:33:19.900 --> 00:33:23.820
I think it\'s good
if you\'re on Tinder and you say:

00:33:23.930 --> 00:33:27.800
\"I\'m trans\". And whoever
wants to meet me, can add me.

00:33:27.910 --> 00:33:32.360
Yes, but there are many
who are interested in us for...

00:33:32.540 --> 00:33:35.380
well, for what I have.
Because you\'ve already...

00:33:35.490 --> 00:33:39.990
Oh, okay, that scenario.
That\'s very hard.

00:33:40.110 --> 00:33:42.950
Of course, if you write that
it becomes a sexual fetish.

00:33:43.260 --> 00:33:45.480
- Yeah.
- Like: \"Hi! I\'m a sex object.\"

00:33:45.590 --> 00:33:49.210
- Have you ever met people like that?
- Yes.

00:33:50.020 --> 00:33:52.040
When you bring it up,
is like: \"I don\'t know about this.\"

00:33:52.150 --> 00:33:56.680
There are three options:
it goes well, and they don\'t care.

00:33:56.790 --> 00:33:58.520
Two: they tell you to go to hell.

00:33:58.630 --> 00:34:02.700
Or three, they\'re really interested,
because of a sexual fetish.

00:34:02.810 --> 00:34:04.740
\"I never did this,
but I want to try.\"

00:34:04.850 --> 00:34:07.150
TALK TO ME LIKE YOU WOULD TALK
TO A CIS WOMAN.

00:34:16.540 --> 00:34:19.060
WHAT FILM ARE YOU PLAYING IN YOUR HEAD?

00:34:19.740 --> 00:34:21.320
FILM?

00:34:21.480 --> 00:34:23.660
ABOUT YOU BEING A WOMAN?

00:34:23.860 --> 00:34:25.580
AND YOU\'RE AN ASSHOLE

00:34:26.560 --> 00:34:28.320
A FAT PIECE OF SHIT

00:34:28.700 --> 00:34:30.280
HI

00:34:32.900 --> 00:34:34.760
CIS?

00:34:36.280 --> 00:34:37.820
HI

00:34:37.980 --> 00:34:39.340
TRANS

00:34:43.500 --> 00:34:46.580
#LOVEISINTHEAIR
AND I CAN\'T BREATHE

00:34:53.080 --> 00:34:57.730
I came back a week ago,
a little more, ten days ago.

00:34:57.840 --> 00:34:59.870
- Where were you before?
- I was in Madrid.

00:34:59.980 --> 00:35:02.630
For a while, for a project.

00:35:02.740 --> 00:35:07.430
And now, I\'m back in Barcelona,
and I\'m getting back on track.

00:35:08.270 --> 00:35:09.550
Nice.

00:35:09.660 --> 00:35:11.450
Do you like the neighbourhood,
your flat?

00:35:11.560 --> 00:35:13.660
Yes, it\'s fine.
I found a good place.

00:35:13.770 --> 00:35:17.070
- But until I organise everything...
- Little by little.

00:35:17.180 --> 00:35:19.320
It\'s a little stressful.

00:35:20.150 --> 00:35:23.930
- But it will work out.
- And what about work?

00:35:24.140 --> 00:35:25.600
What do you do?

00:35:25.710 --> 00:35:27.630
I work in the pharmaceutical industry.

00:35:28.940 --> 00:35:29.850
What\'s that about?

00:35:31.710 --> 00:35:36.520
It\'s a little hard to explain.
I design studies.

00:35:36.640 --> 00:35:40.030
I mean, I\'m not in the laboratory
with a lab coat.

00:35:41.000 --> 00:35:42.520
I design the studies that show

00:35:42.630 --> 00:35:45.880
the viability, the safety,
the efficiency of a medicine.

00:35:46.030 --> 00:35:51.090
To release a new drug,
or to develop a generic...

00:36:32.830 --> 00:36:34.670
Nowadays, the body
imposes itself as

00:36:34.770 --> 00:36:36.690
a predilection site
for the social discourse.

00:36:37.610 --> 00:36:40.220
What does that mean? The body...?

00:36:40.460 --> 00:36:42.540
\"These days, the body poses
as the

00:36:42.650 --> 00:36:45.390
preferred subject
of social discourse.\"

00:36:49.040 --> 00:36:51.210
Look!
They forgot to dress this one.

00:36:51.320 --> 00:36:52.710
No!

00:36:52.950 --> 00:36:56.120
It\'s to show
what the exhibition is about.

00:36:56.230 --> 00:36:58.360
About how fashion
modified the body.

00:36:58.470 --> 00:37:02.520
It shows how they used
bustles to make it bigger

00:37:02.630 --> 00:37:06.350
It was the beauty standard of the time.

00:37:06.460 --> 00:37:08.190
They had to have a big butt, or...

00:37:08.300 --> 00:37:09.830
- Of course.
- It wouldn\'t work.

00:37:10.870 --> 00:37:13.230
And these are from the 20\'s.

00:37:14.580 --> 00:37:16.100
\"Les années folles\", you know?

00:37:16.210 --> 00:37:17.640
- What?
- \"Les années folles.\"

00:37:17.750 --> 00:37:19.820
- Oh, yeah.
- That period.

00:37:19.930 --> 00:37:23.580
The straight lines,
women with no chest, no hips.

00:37:23.690 --> 00:37:26.390
Everything very straight and linear.

00:37:26.660 --> 00:37:28.680
I like it a lot.

00:37:28.790 --> 00:37:30.720
Very shiny too.

00:37:32.160 --> 00:37:33.330
What\'s wrong?

00:37:34.530 --> 00:37:35.550
Nothing.

00:39:17.640 --> 00:39:18.820
Are you okay?

00:39:19.800 --> 00:39:21.130
Don\'t worry.

00:39:21.600 --> 00:39:24.430
Come. Don\'t worry.

00:39:25.310 --> 00:39:29.030
Okay. It\'s over. I\'m sorry.

00:39:45.580 --> 00:39:49.000
I\'m sorry.
Can I do something? What do I do?

00:40:14.040 --> 00:40:16.060
The exhibition will last one month.

00:40:17.420 --> 00:40:19.730
Then the idea is

00:40:19.920 --> 00:40:22.440
taking it to other centres.

00:40:22.790 --> 00:40:25.310
I\'d like you to introduce yourselves

00:40:25.420 --> 00:40:28.240
and explain your work a little bit.

00:40:28.350 --> 00:40:32.130
Well, I\'ll start.
My name is Claudia, and I\'m a writer.

00:40:32.440 --> 00:40:36.910
I wanted to show
a poem that I wrote a few months ago,

00:40:37.020 --> 00:40:39.330
right when
I came out of the closet.

00:40:39.740 --> 00:40:42.450
I\'m looking forward to

00:40:42.560 --> 00:40:45.340
seeing it on these walls
and sharing it with people.

00:40:46.760 --> 00:40:48.270
It\'s my turn, right?

00:40:49.870 --> 00:40:53.820
My name is Raphi,
and I\'m from France.

00:40:55.430 --> 00:41:00.230
The truth is that, I don\'t know
what I\'m going to exhibit.

00:41:01.770 --> 00:41:07.170
We reached out to you because we saw
that you write on your Instagram.

00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:08.360
Yes.

00:41:08.470 --> 00:41:11.730
But if you want to do
something more performative.

00:41:12.030 --> 00:41:14.850
- Is that possible?
- Yes, whatever you want.

00:41:16.040 --> 00:41:18.520
Yeah, I don\'t know.
I thought of sharing some texts.

00:41:18.630 --> 00:41:23.320
But I don\'t know if you want
something really specific...

00:41:23.430 --> 00:41:25.460
Whatever you want to express,

00:41:25.570 --> 00:41:31.070
whatever you want to say,
without restraints or barriers.

00:41:31.180 --> 00:41:32.250
Okay.

00:42:02.530 --> 00:42:04.780
- Hi.
- How are you?

00:42:04.890 --> 00:42:06.660
- Fine, and you?
- Fine.

00:42:06.770 --> 00:42:08.300
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

00:42:08.670 --> 00:42:09.980
- What\'s that?
- White wine.

00:42:10.090 --> 00:42:12.670
- You didn\'t have to.
- Well, I really wanted to.

00:42:12.780 --> 00:42:15.020
- Perfect, come in.
- Thank you.

00:42:16.380 --> 00:42:17.890
How was your week? How did it go?

00:42:18.000 --> 00:42:21.380
Fine. It was busy.

00:42:21.540 --> 00:42:22.660
Cheers.

00:42:22.780 --> 00:42:23.820
How about you?

00:42:25.480 --> 00:42:28.230
Fine, it was calm.
It wasn\'t a crazy week.

00:42:28.830 --> 00:42:31.620
- You look very pretty.
- Thank you, you too.

00:42:35.080 --> 00:42:37.720
Well, I was a little worried
the other day.

00:42:39.080 --> 00:42:39.970
- Yeah, no...
- You feel better?

00:42:40.080 --> 00:42:41.730
- Yes.
- Yeah?

00:42:41.840 --> 00:42:43.710
- Yeah, don\'t worry.
- We didn\'t talk about it.

00:42:43.820 --> 00:42:45.710
- Yeah.
- I didn\'t know...

00:42:47.440 --> 00:42:48.140
Well, that\'s it.

00:42:48.250 --> 00:42:51.040
- Don\'t talk about it anymore.
- I will not.

00:42:51.530 --> 00:42:53.380
Okay, perfect.

00:43:35.230 --> 00:43:36.240
Do you want to?

00:43:37.900 --> 00:43:38.940
You don\'t?

00:43:39.900 --> 00:43:42.120
Okay, it\'s fine.

00:44:50.100 --> 00:44:51.690
- Good morning.
- Hi.

00:44:51.800 --> 00:44:53.210
- How are you?
- I\'m fine, you?

00:44:53.320 --> 00:44:55.530
- Fine. Did you sleep well?
- Yes.

00:45:03.820 --> 00:45:06.540
I don\'t think I have anything
for breakfast.

00:45:06.650 --> 00:45:07.890
- No?
- No.

00:45:13.900 --> 00:45:16.760
Nice.
Can we take a picture?

00:45:16.870 --> 00:45:19.990
- Of what?
- I don\'t know, a selfie.

00:45:20.610 --> 00:45:21.780
- If you want to.
- Can we?

00:45:21.890 --> 00:45:22.950
Yeah, of course.

00:45:23.230 --> 00:45:24.620
- Come on.
- On top of it?

00:45:31.630 --> 00:45:32.930
Come on.

00:46:04.050 --> 00:46:05.590
Don\'t look that much,
you look very pretty.

00:46:05.700 --> 00:46:06.880
- Are you sure?
- Yes.

00:46:06.990 --> 00:46:08.020
Okay.

00:46:08.690 --> 00:46:11.260
I don\'t know if this is my style.

00:46:11.370 --> 00:46:14.700
- You don\'t like it?
- No, it\'s cool but...

00:46:14.810 --> 00:46:16.670
- I have to think about it.
- Okay.

00:46:16.780 --> 00:46:18.520
- Hi, good morning.
- Hi, good morning.

00:46:18.630 --> 00:46:20.150
Can I help you with something?

00:46:20.260 --> 00:46:23.630
Well, we\'re just looking,
because I need to furnish

00:46:23.740 --> 00:46:26.210
my entire flat.
I\'ve just moved in nearby.

00:46:27.350 --> 00:46:31.610
Okay, if you need information
or you want to buy something...

00:46:32.030 --> 00:46:35.370
- Honey?
- I do want to buy!

00:46:35.610 --> 00:46:39.810
- Sofas? They\'re over there, right?
- Yes, sofas on that side.

00:46:40.850 --> 00:46:43.540
OMG! I love this one.

00:46:44.270 --> 00:46:46.530
- I love this one.
- No way!

00:46:47.480 --> 00:46:49.110
- Sit down.
- Let\'s see.

00:46:52.020 --> 00:46:54.730
- It\'s cool, isn\'t it?
- Very cool.

00:46:54.980 --> 00:46:58.340
- Where would you put this?
- I don\'t know, in the bathroom?

00:46:58.450 --> 00:47:00.020
In the bathroom?

00:47:01.370 --> 00:47:04.330
Well. I\'ll have to think about it.

00:47:05.320 --> 00:47:07.030
It\'s very original.

00:47:07.210 --> 00:47:09.150
- Very beautiful.
- Just original?

00:47:09.260 --> 00:47:10.940
- Well...
- Don\'t you like it?

00:47:11.050 --> 00:47:14.250
- You definitely like it more.
- I do. I love it!

00:47:31.370 --> 00:47:32.640
Do you want to come in?

00:47:34.010 --> 00:47:36.580
I\'d love to,
but if you don\'t mind

00:47:36.690 --> 00:47:39.060
I\'d rather use this time
to organise things

00:47:39.170 --> 00:47:41.060
before the weekend is over.

00:47:41.170 --> 00:47:44.970
Well, we could eat something.
We haven\'t eaten anything.

00:47:45.160 --> 00:47:46.170
Yeah...

00:47:47.980 --> 00:47:49.180
- You don\'t want to?
- I do, I\'d love to.

00:47:49.290 --> 00:47:50.570
But I\'d rather...

00:47:50.680 --> 00:47:54.670
Don\'t get upset,
but I have things to do...

00:47:54.780 --> 00:47:58.360
Okay. Me too,
I also have things to do...

00:47:58.470 --> 00:48:01.240
- Don\'t get upset.
- No, I\'m not upset, don\'t worry.

00:48:01.350 --> 00:48:04.330
- Really? You seem...
- No, it\'s fine.

00:48:05.110 --> 00:48:06.820
- You sure?
- Yeah, that\'s fine.

00:48:06.930 --> 00:48:09.250
- I\'ll call you.
- Yes, of course.

00:48:09.360 --> 00:48:11.820
- We had a good time, right?
- Absolutely, I loved it.

00:48:11.930 --> 00:48:14.920
So that\'s it, don\'t worry.
That\'s what we\'ll do, okay?

00:48:15.030 --> 00:48:16.600
- Okay.
- Perfect.

00:48:25.180 --> 00:48:26.880
- Thanks a lot.
- Thank you.

00:48:26.990 --> 00:48:29.010
- Hey, you better call me.
- I\'ll call you.

00:48:39.640 --> 00:48:43.410
Well, well, well! Welcome!
Trinitat Vella!

00:48:43.520 --> 00:48:45.240
A loud applause!

00:48:49.580 --> 00:48:51.720
Come on, come on!

00:48:53.320 --> 00:48:54.670
Of course.

00:48:54.780 --> 00:49:00.370
Welcome to the first LGBTI exhibition
of Trinitat Vella called

00:49:00.480 --> 00:49:02.060
\"The Collective.\"

00:49:02.170 --> 00:49:03.500
Come here, Raphaëlle, my love.

00:49:03.610 --> 00:49:05.020
- Can I call you Raphi?
- Yes, of course.

00:49:05.130 --> 00:49:07.920
Raphi, for friends. French?

00:49:08.030 --> 00:49:12.330
- Yes, you can tell?
- No, not at all. You\'re from Cadiz!

00:49:15.110 --> 00:49:18.040
You look totally from the south,
my love.

00:49:18.880 --> 00:49:20.570
What do you have for us, my love?

00:49:20.680 --> 00:49:24.090
I brought some collages
I made a little while ago.

00:49:24.290 --> 00:49:27.350
\"My Emptiness...\"
This is yours, right?

00:49:27.470 --> 00:49:28.330
Yes.

00:49:28.430 --> 00:49:31.350
Stop seeing what you don\'t want to see.

00:49:31.460 --> 00:49:34.020
So deep, girl!
Were you high?

00:49:35.780 --> 00:49:36.940
To love,

00:49:37.410 --> 00:49:41.870
to build a relationship, a house,

00:49:41.980 --> 00:49:43.230
a home,

00:49:43.760 --> 00:49:47.800
to plan, to have kids, lots of them,

00:49:47.910 --> 00:49:49.690
to be happy with them,

00:49:49.790 --> 00:49:52.310
to spoil them, to take care of them,

00:49:52.410 --> 00:49:53.500
to adore them,

00:49:53.790 --> 00:49:56.430
to have a simple and peaceful life,

00:49:56.890 --> 00:49:59.730
to have a life that\'s
full of joy and happiness.

00:50:00.190 --> 00:50:02.260
To stop being a weirdo.

00:50:02.540 --> 00:50:06.190
To enjoy and to write a better future.

00:50:06.300 --> 00:50:07.730
More beautiful.

00:50:12.950 --> 00:50:14.440
- Very good.
- Thank you.

00:50:19.350 --> 00:50:21.430
- I loved it.
- Really?

00:50:22.520 --> 00:50:25.110
Yes, because I\'m also a weirdo.

00:50:25.220 --> 00:50:26.330
In my own way.

00:50:26.440 --> 00:50:30.660
and what we have to do is surrender and
start living for once in this fucking

00:50:30.770 --> 00:50:34.120
life and society,
even if it\'s really hard,

00:50:34.230 --> 00:50:35.820
we aren\'t alone.

00:50:35.930 --> 00:50:37.630
We have \"The Dyke\"...

00:50:39.960 --> 00:50:42.250
The entire collective,
and not only the collective,

00:50:42.360 --> 00:50:44.950
people in the neighbourhood
we are getting closer to.

00:50:45.060 --> 00:50:47.840
Making ourselves heard and listened to.

00:50:47.950 --> 00:50:51.360
And although that respect
comes from just a few people,

00:50:51.470 --> 00:50:53.330
to feel
as if they were a thousand.

00:50:55.910 --> 00:50:59.810
He told me we were boys
that there were boys with tits.

00:50:59.920 --> 00:51:02.620
We look at each other\'s breasts.

00:51:02.810 --> 00:51:05.580
Before, our breasts
were two big spheres,

00:51:05.690 --> 00:51:07.860
and now, a mantle
of skin and textures.

00:51:07.970 --> 00:51:11.200
He told me we should
love our chest because it changes,

00:51:11.310 --> 00:51:14.220
takes on other forms,
another kind of softness,

00:51:14.320 --> 00:51:16.520
and it gives us another type of pleasure

00:51:16.730 --> 00:51:18.620
that no one speaks of.

00:51:19.110 --> 00:51:21.610
Now, he and I
get lost in their stretch marks,

00:51:21.720 --> 00:51:24.420
in the ninety centimetres
that are no longer there,

00:51:24.550 --> 00:51:26.330
in the story it tells,

00:51:26.440 --> 00:51:29.440
in the echo of our new masculinity.

00:51:30.610 --> 00:51:31.960
With our sex,

00:51:32.070 --> 00:51:33.870
with our spectrum,

00:51:33.980 --> 00:51:36.910
with our androgyny,
with our new scars,

00:51:37.020 --> 00:51:38.130
and with our feminine curves.

00:51:40.820 --> 00:51:44.030
This body is our landscape,

00:51:44.200 --> 00:51:45.830
and here we stay.

00:51:56.630 --> 00:51:59.220
I don\'t know. Everyone\'s work
seemed better.

00:52:00.030 --> 00:52:03.430
- Well...
- The poems?

00:52:03.960 --> 00:52:07.670
- Everything.
- You can\'t compare.

00:52:07.780 --> 00:52:10.600
Some of your collages
are really interesting.

00:52:10.710 --> 00:52:12.910
- Very powerful.
- Yes.

00:52:13.170 --> 00:52:15.900
You have to keep developing
more and more,

00:52:16.010 --> 00:52:20.890
because you have something
very interesting.

00:52:21.000 --> 00:52:23.350
Well, the one about the king
creeped me out a little...

00:52:23.460 --> 00:52:25.630
Excuse me, ladies.

00:52:26.040 --> 00:52:29.480
Raphaëlle meet Carles.

00:52:29.590 --> 00:52:31.760
He\'s a theatre director and
he wants talk to you about something.

00:52:31.870 --> 00:52:33.600
Okay, okay, great.

00:52:33.710 --> 00:52:36.990
- Hi, nice to meet you.
- Hi, Raphi, nice to meet you.

00:52:37.100 --> 00:52:38.500
- Congratulations.
- Thanks a lot.

00:52:38.610 --> 00:52:41.740
I loved it, it really touched me.

00:52:42.850 --> 00:52:46.440
- Well, excuse me, I\'m Carles.
- Anna.

00:52:47.130 --> 00:52:49.850
Maybe now isn\'t a good time.

00:52:50.460 --> 00:52:52.370
I have a theatre company.

00:52:52.470 --> 00:52:54.610
We are focused on documentary theatre.

00:52:54.710 --> 00:52:58.510
We work with people
that are not professional actors.

00:52:58.620 --> 00:53:01.410
I\'d like to get a coffee
with you one day and talk...

00:53:01.520 --> 00:53:05.100
- Yes, perfect.
- Yeah? I\'ll give you my card.

00:53:05.280 --> 00:53:07.830
- Call me one day.
- Okay, alright, great.

00:53:07.940 --> 00:53:10.370
Okay, here you go.

00:53:10.480 --> 00:53:12.550
- Great, thanks a lot.
- Take care.

00:53:12.660 --> 00:53:14.660
Thanks a lot, bye. Okay.

00:53:14.770 --> 00:53:20.150
Well, he didn\'t kiss me.
I don\'t know... how to take it.

00:53:43.180 --> 00:53:45.660
HI HANDSOME.

00:53:47.700 --> 00:53:49.660
HOW\'S YOUR WEEK?

00:54:05.700 --> 00:54:09.500
HEY. EVERYTHING\'S FINE. STRESSFUL.

00:54:12.060 --> 00:54:15.520
Yes, today I am a woman with a penis.

00:54:16.050 --> 00:54:18.310
Do I have to change it for a vagina?

00:54:18.750 --> 00:54:20.830
Would that make me more normal?

00:54:21.180 --> 00:54:23.520
Being normal is just a concept.

00:54:23.630 --> 00:54:25.880
Being normal doesn\'t mean anything.

00:54:26.360 --> 00:54:28.730
Normality doesn\'t exist.

00:54:28.900 --> 00:54:31.720
Every one of us is one of a kind.

00:54:32.340 --> 00:54:35.790
A penis doesn\'t have
to be a limit or an obstacle

00:54:35.900 --> 00:54:37.850
in a woman\'s life.

00:54:38.040 --> 00:54:41.980
We, trans people don\'t have to change
our bodies.

00:54:42.090 --> 00:54:43.520
All we have to change

00:54:43.630 --> 00:54:46.730
is how people
keeps perceiving us nowadays.

00:54:47.480 --> 00:54:49.130
That\'s the real cause,

00:54:49.250 --> 00:54:50.720
we have to fight for.

00:54:51.360 --> 00:54:53.200
- Exactly.
- Very good.

00:54:53.310 --> 00:54:56.220
- An applause.
- Thank you.

00:54:57.590 --> 00:54:59.020
Thanks a lot.

00:55:00.010 --> 00:55:02.510
For me, there was a sentence that

00:55:02.620 --> 00:55:06.170
disrupted me a little bit.

00:55:06.790 --> 00:55:11.580
When you say we don\'t need
to change our body.

00:55:11.690 --> 00:55:14.890
What we need to change
is how others see us.

00:55:15.000 --> 00:55:15.800
Exactly.

00:55:15.910 --> 00:55:19.260
Obviously,
the second part is correct,

00:55:19.370 --> 00:55:22.380
because social pressure exists.

00:55:22.490 --> 00:55:24.400
- Of course.
- But it exists for everybody.

00:55:24.510 --> 00:55:26.550
Even for queer people.

00:55:26.660 --> 00:55:29.140
Those queer people
that you just described here,

00:55:29.250 --> 00:55:30.830
where everyone is happy,

00:55:30.940 --> 00:55:35.210
everyone accepts themselves,
they don\'t have any problems.

00:55:35.320 --> 00:55:41.020
Well, I don\'t know.
That seems more like Disneyland.

00:55:41.130 --> 00:55:46.060
I think that all queer people
have their own problems. Clearly,

00:55:46.170 --> 00:55:47.400
they are human beings.

00:55:47.510 --> 00:55:49.400
But why do we always fight
for ourselves,

00:55:49.510 --> 00:55:54.790
and we don\'t fight with queer people
for these issues?

00:55:54.950 --> 00:55:59.180
I am going to give you
a simple answer.

00:56:01.330 --> 00:56:04.510
If you are on that line, that border,
where you don\'t really know,

00:56:04.620 --> 00:56:08.930
I\'d tell you to you jump from
side to side or to stay in the middle.

00:56:09.040 --> 00:56:11.080
But until you know

00:56:11.400 --> 00:56:12.810
by yourself

00:56:12.920 --> 00:56:17.650
where you\'ll find
this feeling of belonging,

00:56:18.160 --> 00:56:19.490
you\'re denying me...

00:56:20.240 --> 00:56:22.850
- I\'m not denying you anything.
- Not you.

00:56:23.300 --> 00:56:24.920
Sorry, in general.

00:56:25.220 --> 00:56:26.630
The queer world

00:56:26.740 --> 00:56:29.180
is denying
a vital part of ourselves,

00:56:29.290 --> 00:56:32.980
which is to feel fulfilled
because we can have our vagina.

00:56:33.290 --> 00:56:35.910
- No!
- Yes, that\'s how it is!

00:56:36.160 --> 00:56:37.690
- I...
- No, no, no...

00:56:37.820 --> 00:56:38.740
One small thing.

00:56:39.630 --> 00:56:42.840
On both sides,
thing are being said

00:56:43.010 --> 00:56:46.820
that infringe on our personal freedom.

00:56:46.930 --> 00:56:48.790
I-Vaginarium isn\'t about that.

00:56:48.900 --> 00:56:52.820
I-Vaginarium goes beyond being a woman.

00:56:53.110 --> 00:56:58.920
This is about helping each other

00:56:59.230 --> 00:57:01.170
to become a better person

00:57:01.280 --> 00:57:03.640
with the tools we have.

00:57:03.750 --> 00:57:08.270
From there, you have to ask
what kind of woman do you want to be.

00:57:09.420 --> 00:57:12.560
Up, up, down, down!

00:57:12.670 --> 00:57:15.130
With more energy!

00:57:16.570 --> 00:57:18.560
And now we are going to dance
for someone.

00:57:18.660 --> 00:57:20.290
Let\'s go down slowly.

00:57:20.430 --> 00:57:23.340
Wow! No one can see us!

00:57:24.120 --> 00:57:27.480
A little higher.
And now, the challenge.

00:57:27.590 --> 00:57:28.770
I go down and up.

00:57:29.050 --> 00:57:31.210
Now! And up!

00:57:31.640 --> 00:57:33.760
That\'s it! A little faster!

00:57:33.870 --> 00:57:37.140
Down and up. That\'s it!

00:57:37.410 --> 00:57:39.120
Shake your body!

00:57:39.730 --> 00:57:44.390
It\'s four in the morning
and the party is yours!

00:57:45.520 --> 00:57:49.630
I liked that one more.
We\'re going to turn around.

00:57:51.610 --> 00:57:56.140
That\'s it ladies! Like every day
I want us to say goodbye.

00:57:56.250 --> 00:57:58.950
Thank you, my blondies!
See you next time!

00:58:23.880 --> 00:58:26.380
HI HANDSOME

00:58:26.920 --> 00:58:28.080
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

00:59:06.020 --> 00:59:08.440
DO YOU LIKE IT?

00:59:09.020 --> 00:59:10.080
I\'M NEXT TO YOUR HOUSE

00:59:28.900 --> 00:59:30.300
Hi there!

01:00:21.620 --> 01:00:25.020
#LOVEISINTHEAIR
BUT IT\'S POLLUTED

01:00:33.080 --> 01:00:35.510
Throw it to them
to see if the fish come.

01:00:37.040 --> 01:00:38.780
She just took a picture of us.

01:00:39.230 --> 01:00:42.120
- Really?
- Yes. I think she did.

01:00:42.230 --> 01:00:43.430
Let\'s see if something comes out.

01:00:43.540 --> 01:00:45.270
- Why?
- I don\'t know.

01:00:46.090 --> 01:00:47.670
- Of Zaskia?
- Yes.

01:00:47.780 --> 01:00:49.780
- Her?
- That girl, yes. She took a photo.

01:00:49.890 --> 01:00:52.700
- But why?
- I don\'t know, but I noticed.

01:00:52.810 --> 01:00:56.360
- Hi, excuse me. Do you speak Spanish?
- Hi, yes.

01:00:56.470 --> 01:00:59.240
Why were you taking pictures
of my daughter?

01:00:59.420 --> 01:01:00.970
I didn\'t take any pictures.

01:01:01.080 --> 01:01:04.030
Yes, my husband told me.

01:01:04.470 --> 01:01:06.700
Yes, you took a picture
when you were walking.

01:01:06.810 --> 01:01:08.370
Why are you taking pictures of us?

01:01:08.480 --> 01:01:12.730
- Well, it\'s a project that I have...
- A project for what?

01:01:12.840 --> 01:01:16.580
An artistic project
of couples I see in the street.

01:01:16.690 --> 01:01:20.240
- And you\'re an artist? What kind?
- Yes, I\'m an artist.

01:01:20.350 --> 01:01:22.720
- And what are you?
- Why do you care?

01:01:22.830 --> 01:01:23.840
That\'s none of your business.

01:01:23.950 --> 01:01:26.570
We are here as a family,
you took a picture,

01:01:26.680 --> 01:01:28.680
and we\'re asking you to erase it.

01:01:28.790 --> 01:01:30.010
Show it to me please.

01:01:30.120 --> 01:01:31.740
You can\'t see your face, look.

01:01:31.850 --> 01:01:33.780
But it doesn\'t matter.
It\'s my daughter.

01:01:33.880 --> 01:01:36.210
Can you erase the picture please?

01:01:36.320 --> 01:01:38.220
- There are laws!
- I don\'t want to erase it.

01:01:38.330 --> 01:01:42.030
- I think you should erase it.
- It\'s about her. You can\'t do this!

01:01:42.140 --> 01:01:44.070
We came here to kindly ask you
to erase it.

01:01:44.200 --> 01:01:46.320
And I think you should do it.

01:01:46.430 --> 01:01:47.840
Okay, so I\'ll delete it.

01:01:47.950 --> 01:01:50.830
That\'s children\'s rights.

01:01:50.940 --> 01:01:52.830
- It\'s done!
- Thank you.

01:01:52.940 --> 01:01:55.030
- Okay, good evening.
- It\'s done. Bye.

01:01:55.140 --> 01:01:57.330
- It\'s enough!
- Why is she taking pictures?

01:01:57.440 --> 01:01:59.290
She took pictures
without asking for permission.

01:02:01.250 --> 01:02:02.870
You have to ask for permission
to do it.

01:02:02.970 --> 01:02:04.840
Especially a child.

01:02:05.260 --> 01:02:09.100
DON´T MAKE ME WASTE MY TIME, PLEASE

01:02:17.460 --> 01:02:18.820
PHOTOS XXX?

01:02:19.040 --> 01:02:20.340
NO

01:02:20.700 --> 01:02:22.940
I\'LL SEND YOU MINE.
DO YOU GIVE DICK?

01:02:23.200 --> 01:02:24.080
NO

01:02:24.300 --> 01:02:25.560
I\'M BLOCKING YOU

01:02:26.060 --> 01:02:27.780
ARE YOU HORNY?
YOU WANT ME TO RAPE YOU?

01:02:28.000 --> 01:02:28.640
WHAT?

01:02:28.740 --> 01:02:30.280
I\'D EAT YOUR ASS

01:02:30.400 --> 01:02:32.660
I HAVE DIARROHEA

01:02:33.060 --> 01:02:34.140
DO YOU HAVE A PLACE?

01:02:43.890 --> 01:02:46.120
- Hi.
- Hi.

01:02:46.940 --> 01:02:48.920
- How are you?
- Fine

01:02:49.150 --> 01:02:50.170
Yeah?

01:02:52.140 --> 01:02:54.120
- And you?
- I\'m fine.

01:02:54.910 --> 01:02:56.120
What\'s wrong?

01:02:58.380 --> 01:03:00.220
Are you kidding me?

01:03:00.650 --> 01:03:01.920
What\'s wrong?

01:03:03.110 --> 01:03:05.150
I was not supposed to meet a dude.

01:03:06.040 --> 01:03:07.600
Well, I\'m not a dude.

01:03:07.710 --> 01:03:09.910
- You\'re not a dude?
- I\'m not a dude, no.

01:03:10.020 --> 01:03:11.570
I know who I am.

01:03:11.680 --> 01:03:14.460
Yeah? And the girl in the pictures?

01:03:14.810 --> 01:03:17.560
- I am the girl in the pictures.
- Oh, really?

01:03:17.670 --> 01:03:19.550
What\'s your problem?
I don\'t understand.

01:03:19.660 --> 01:03:22.490
My problem is I\'m meant to be meeting up
with a girl to fuck, not with a dude.

01:03:22.600 --> 01:03:24.300
And I\'m not fag,
do you understand?

01:03:24.410 --> 01:03:26.080
I\'m not gay either.

01:03:26.190 --> 01:03:27.840
- Oh, you\'re not fag?
- No.

01:03:28.550 --> 01:03:29.930
- No?
- Well, no.

01:03:30.040 --> 01:03:32.040
- You\'re a chick?
- Of course.

01:03:32.150 --> 01:03:34.910
And your voice, where\'s it from?

01:03:36.870 --> 01:03:42.430
- Well, I think we\'ll leave it here.
- Yeah, we are going to leave it here.

01:03:42.610 --> 01:03:44.310
I want nothing to do with you.
Fuck off.

01:03:44.410 --> 01:03:45.310
Neither do I.

01:03:45.410 --> 01:03:47.150
- Go away.
- The truth is...

01:03:47.330 --> 01:03:48.640
What\'s the truth?

01:03:49.510 --> 01:03:51.570
Don\'t lie, damn it!
Why are you lying to me?

01:03:51.680 --> 01:03:53.830
I didn\'t lie to you.
I don\'t owe you anything.

01:03:53.940 --> 01:03:55.780
I owe you nothing.
I don\'t have to tell you anything.

01:03:55.890 --> 01:03:57.980
Yes, you do,
because we met up to fuck.

01:03:58.090 --> 01:04:00.250
- And I don\'t like dudes.
- But I\'m a chick.

01:04:00.940 --> 01:04:02.620
- What\'s your fucking problem?
- You\'re a chick?

01:04:03.150 --> 01:04:04.910
Do you want me
to fuck you in the ass?

01:04:05.150 --> 01:04:06.330
Do you have a problem?

01:04:06.440 --> 01:04:08.830
Yes, I have a problem,
I\'m not into faggots.

01:04:08.940 --> 01:04:10.450
So, you can fuck off.

01:04:10.560 --> 01:04:11.690
But I\'m not gay though.

01:04:11.800 --> 01:04:12.810
- You aren\'t gay?
- No.

01:04:12.920 --> 01:04:13.650
You\'re a tranny.

01:04:13.750 --> 01:04:16.040
You\'re going to fool
your fucking mother. Come on, fuck off.

01:04:16.350 --> 01:04:18.910
Leave!
Go fool your fucking mother!

01:04:19.020 --> 01:04:19.840
Fuck off!

01:04:19.950 --> 01:04:22.530
- Fuck, that\'s enough!
- Go lie to your fucking mother.

01:04:22.640 --> 01:04:25.410
Creep. Fuck off!

01:04:32.640 --> 01:04:33.730
Hi.

01:04:35.550 --> 01:04:37.890
Where are you going that beautiful?

01:04:39.670 --> 01:04:41.030
Are you OK?

01:04:41.160 --> 01:04:42.420
Yes, all good.

01:04:45.170 --> 01:04:46.750
Is something wrong?

01:04:47.210 --> 01:04:48.310
No.

01:04:52.010 --> 01:04:53.580
- Good morning!
- Hi.

01:04:53.690 --> 01:04:56.360
Raphi! What a change, honey!

01:04:56.470 --> 01:04:57.830
- Hi.
- How are you?

01:04:58.160 --> 01:05:02.580
Babe, you look so pretty with that hair,
it looks great on you.

01:05:03.380 --> 01:05:05.030
But, that face?

01:05:07.100 --> 01:05:08.390
What\'s wrong?

01:05:12.440 --> 01:05:13.710
Hi!

01:05:13.930 --> 01:05:15.220
- Hi.
- Hi.

01:05:15.330 --> 01:05:18.320
Wow! So blonde!
I thought it would be darker.

01:05:18.820 --> 01:05:19.550
Me too.

01:05:19.660 --> 01:05:22.640
Hello, this is Elena,
how can I help you?

01:05:25.960 --> 01:05:29.770
Raphi, honey, what\'s wrong?

01:05:30.740 --> 01:05:34.940
What\'s wrong, my love?
Wait... these are coming...

01:05:35.210 --> 01:05:37.450
Good morning!
How was your weekend?

01:05:37.560 --> 01:05:40.190
- Fine.
- Oh, Raphi, this new look?

01:05:40.730 --> 01:05:44.950
But you\'re piecing it together
without really knowing why he left you.

01:05:45.090 --> 01:05:48.780
- I don\'t know, boys are really strange.
- People in general.

01:05:48.890 --> 01:05:53.680
He\'s probably afraid of society,

01:05:53.790 --> 01:05:57.940
the looks, the prejudice.
I don\'t know, I can\'t explain.

01:05:58.050 --> 01:06:00.560
He didn\'t give you an explanation.
You know what? He doesn\'t deserve you.

01:06:00.670 --> 01:06:03.400
- It\'s not worth it.
- No, but...

01:06:03.510 --> 01:06:07.290
- The problem is the expectations.
- With your self-esteem...

01:06:07.400 --> 01:06:09.050
What do we imagine a relationship is?

01:06:09.250 --> 01:06:11.930
It\'s like fantasy that we make up

01:06:12.040 --> 01:06:13.490
about what the other
has to give us.

01:06:13.800 --> 01:06:18.330
The reality
often doesn\'t fit that pattern.

01:06:18.680 --> 01:06:19.760
No, it doesn\'t.

01:06:19.870 --> 01:06:24.090
Maybe, what we need to try
is to lower those expectations.

01:06:24.200 --> 01:06:28.590
We get too excited
and we have such a romantic idea

01:06:28.700 --> 01:06:31.380
of princesses and prince charming...

01:06:31.490 --> 01:06:34.330
What has been taught to us
as children.

01:06:34.440 --> 01:06:36.410
When that all breaks down

01:06:36.520 --> 01:06:39.620
- it\'s a drama.
- Well, that\'s how it is.

01:06:39.730 --> 01:06:42.790
But, in the end,
we\'re all exposed to this.

01:06:42.920 --> 01:06:46.710
It\'s true that there are people
with more difficulties in life,

01:06:46.820 --> 01:06:50.170
but difficulties are opportunities
to become stronger.

01:06:50.280 --> 01:06:54.300
People that decide
to accept who they are

01:06:54.410 --> 01:06:59.640
are much braver than a person
that is comfortable with everything.

01:06:59.750 --> 01:07:02.490
Yes, but one thing is feeling
comfortable,

01:07:02.600 --> 01:07:04.270
and the other is feeling complete

01:07:04.370 --> 01:07:06.450
and, at the moment,
I don\'t feel complete...

01:07:06.550 --> 01:07:08.770
Give it time!

01:07:08.990 --> 01:07:10.900
It\'s not that you can\'t.
Of course you\'ll be able to!

01:07:11.010 --> 01:07:12.250
You think that having a vagina

01:07:12.360 --> 01:07:14.020
will end all your sexual problems.

01:07:14.130 --> 01:07:16.480
- Of course.
- No, I\'m telling you.

01:07:16.590 --> 01:07:18.810
- Probably not.
- Not necessarily.

01:07:19.110 --> 01:07:20.970
- Not necessarily.
- Why not?

01:07:21.590 --> 01:07:25.640
Let\'s see... first of all, sexuality
isn\'t just genitals.

01:07:25.750 --> 01:07:27.510
Sex goes a little further...

01:07:27.620 --> 01:07:30.460
- Do you enjoy it?
- Enjoying of your skin,

01:07:30.570 --> 01:07:36.280
the eye contact,
different things, okay?

01:07:36.660 --> 01:07:38.550
I had relationships

01:07:38.660 --> 01:07:41.420
where I was really happy
with the orgasms of my partners,

01:07:41.530 --> 01:07:44.040
- but I felt a little...
- Of your partners!

01:07:44.150 --> 01:07:47.090
And you faked it, classic!

01:07:47.310 --> 01:07:50.140
I didn\'t fake it!
But if I didn\'t come, I didn\'t come.

01:07:50.250 --> 01:07:52.900
In that moment, I thought:
\"I don\'t mind,\"

01:07:53.010 --> 01:07:58.320
because we have...
the fantasy of a relationship.

01:07:58.430 --> 01:08:00.860
The fantasy of it being
the be-all and end-all...

01:08:00.970 --> 01:08:03.340
and that you\'re incomplete
if you don\'t have someone.

01:08:03.450 --> 01:08:04.530
But it\'s a lie!

01:08:04.850 --> 01:08:10.480
And the more expectations you have
for things to be a certain way,

01:08:10.590 --> 01:08:12.710
- the more frustrated you\'ll feel.
- Of course.

01:08:13.200 --> 01:08:15.100
But ladies,
Raphi hasn\'t told you something.

01:08:15.210 --> 01:08:19.230
- Go on, tell us.
- Because, it\'s not all sadness, honey.

01:08:19.550 --> 01:08:21.770
- Tell them.
- There are definitely good things.

01:08:21.880 --> 01:08:24.730
Tell them about the theatre director.

01:08:24.930 --> 01:08:28.410
Well, a theatre director
has approached me to do a play.

01:08:28.790 --> 01:08:29.820
Wow!

01:08:29.920 --> 01:08:31.720
They were looking
for a trans-girl

01:08:31.820 --> 01:08:34.840
to tell her... her story.

01:08:34.950 --> 01:08:39.050
And don\'t you think that could
be an opportunity to heal?

01:08:39.160 --> 01:08:42.570
I think they chose a trans-girl,
because she\'s trans.

01:08:43.020 --> 01:08:46.450
In the same way, when
there\'s a play about a black person,

01:08:46.550 --> 01:08:47.470
they choose a black person.

01:08:47.570 --> 01:08:49.980
It\'s like what they used to do here
with the Three Kings,

01:08:50.090 --> 01:08:52.420
when they painted Balthazar black.

01:08:52.530 --> 01:08:56.420
There are black people,
so they choose a black person.

01:08:56.600 --> 01:08:59.520
They\'re not going
to choose a girl that\'s not trans.

01:08:59.630 --> 01:09:02.050
But I\'m tired of being chosen
because I\'m trans,

01:09:02.160 --> 01:09:03.630
that they see me as trans,

01:09:03.740 --> 01:09:07.250
that they limit me to being trans.

01:09:07.690 --> 01:09:10.700
I\'m going to do a very basic exam

01:09:10.810 --> 01:09:14.100
just to see the tissue, okay?

01:09:14.210 --> 01:09:16.530
- Okay.
- Okay, pull it up.

01:09:20.410 --> 01:09:21.620
Okay.

01:09:22.590 --> 01:09:23.740
Very good.

01:09:26.820 --> 01:09:29.970
Well, Raphi like I was saying,
the surgery can be done.

01:09:30.620 --> 01:09:32.890
Now it\'s about you telling me

01:09:32.990 --> 01:09:34.890
what you want to know,
if you have any doubts...

01:09:34.990 --> 01:09:37.580
I have several doubts, like knowing

01:09:37.680 --> 01:09:40.420
if it\'s functional,
if there\'s sensitivity

01:09:40.560 --> 01:09:43.480
once the surgery is done.

01:09:43.590 --> 01:09:45.160
Alright, about sensitivity...

01:09:45.270 --> 01:09:48.380
That\'s one of the main goals
of the surgery.

01:09:48.490 --> 01:09:52.190
It will never be like the sensitivity
that you have in your penis now.

01:09:52.300 --> 01:09:54.710
But yes, you will have sensitivity.

01:09:55.140 --> 01:09:56.160
Okay.

01:09:56.270 --> 01:09:59.420
So, there\'s no risk of the body

01:09:59.530 --> 01:10:01.690
rejecting the future vagina?

01:10:01.800 --> 01:10:02.680
Good question.

01:10:02.790 --> 01:10:06.690
But don\'t worry, because
we\'re going to use your own tissue.

01:10:06.800 --> 01:10:10.310
Your body won\'t reject it.

01:10:11.050 --> 01:10:15.890
I also wanted to know,
if there is a timeframe...

01:10:16.000 --> 01:10:17.970
If I could know
when the surgery would be.

01:10:19.410 --> 01:10:22.890
Raphi, you\'re on the waiting list.

01:10:23.510 --> 01:10:25.270
You are number 73,

01:10:25.380 --> 01:10:28.520
so it will be at least three years.

01:10:28.800 --> 01:10:31.150
- A three-year wait?
- Yes.

01:10:33.010 --> 01:10:33.980
Okay.

01:10:34.090 --> 01:10:38.230
Listen, Raphi. These are the spots
that are managed by the government.

01:10:39.350 --> 01:10:42.320
This is also important because

01:10:42.430 --> 01:10:45.430
you\'ll start
preparing for this situation.

01:10:45.590 --> 01:10:47.110
I know if you\'ve made it this far,

01:10:47.220 --> 01:10:49.960
it\'s because you\'re convinced of
what you want to do,

01:10:50.070 --> 01:10:55.220
but this is a major surgery
that can\'t be reversed.

01:10:56.940 --> 01:10:58.030
Okay.

01:10:59.790 --> 01:11:00.800
Okay.

01:11:01.430 --> 01:11:05.730
Oh, what a surprise!
You have a new look!

01:11:05.880 --> 01:11:07.620
No, it\'s not great.

01:11:08.650 --> 01:11:10.940
No! I think it\'s...

01:11:11.110 --> 01:11:15.760
...pretty. It\'s like
a bluish-grey, silver, isn\'t it?

01:11:15.870 --> 01:11:18.550
Yes, but I wanted blond, not blue.

01:11:20.550 --> 01:11:24.820
- It\'s not my style.
- But it looks good!

01:11:24.930 --> 01:11:25.940
I don\'t know.

01:11:26.050 --> 01:11:29.630
- It\'s rock & roll!
- Yeah, but I\'m not rock.

01:11:30.290 --> 01:11:31.610
I\'m glam.

01:11:32.330 --> 01:11:33.340
Well yeah.

01:11:34.700 --> 01:11:39.370
Yes, but it\'s pretty
and the hair will come back...

01:11:39.480 --> 01:11:42.380
But I can see in your face
that something\'s wrong.

01:11:42.490 --> 01:11:45.850
- There\'s something that...
- You seem sad.

01:11:45.960 --> 01:11:49.080
Well, I just got back from the surgeon.

01:11:51.910 --> 01:11:52.670
And so?

01:11:52.780 --> 01:11:55.950
So, it\'s a three-year wait.

01:11:59.790 --> 01:12:02.910
Yeah, I understand three years is a lot.

01:12:03.020 --> 01:12:05.440
Does it seem long to you?

01:12:05.550 --> 01:12:09.510
Yes dad, there are seventy girls
before me.

01:12:10.290 --> 01:12:13.180
What am I going to do?
My plan was to do it now.

01:12:13.290 --> 01:12:14.860
Watch the news.

01:12:16.430 --> 01:12:20.650
Waiting lists tend to be longer.

01:12:20.760 --> 01:12:23.580
I don\'t think three years is that long.

01:12:23.690 --> 01:12:26.900
Also, those three years are to

01:12:27.010 --> 01:12:30.700
fully process the idea and...

01:12:30.930 --> 01:12:35.530
...so that the girls
that take this route, are sure.

01:12:36.210 --> 01:12:41.020
And don\'t worry,
we\'re with you, your sisters too.

01:12:42.490 --> 01:12:47.940
The whole family is with you.
Everyone supports you, and like I said,

01:12:48.230 --> 01:12:53.640
if you really need to, just come home.

01:12:54.990 --> 01:12:59.900
Barcelona isn\'t going anywhere.
Come back whenever you want to.

01:13:00.010 --> 01:13:04.330
There are many possibilities.
You don\'t have to be stuck

01:13:04.590 --> 01:13:06.830
...in something that doesn\'t suit you.

01:13:07.560 --> 01:13:10.430
Yes, yes, I get the issue.

01:13:11.560 --> 01:13:12.620
No.

01:13:16.950 --> 01:13:19.020
I can give you the information...

01:13:24.550 --> 01:13:27.670
Yes, but you have to understand
it\'s not my fault they charged you.

01:13:27.780 --> 01:13:29.960
There is someone pretending to be you

01:13:30.070 --> 01:13:31.900
requesting cell phones.

01:13:32.010 --> 01:13:35.050
So, I\'m telling you the process
we have to follow.

01:13:35.160 --> 01:13:38.030
I need you to send an email

01:13:38.970 --> 01:13:42.260
I\'m Carmen, I told you at the beginning.

01:13:43.670 --> 01:13:45.930
I need you to write the email

01:13:46.040 --> 01:13:48.280
so I can send it to my colleagues.

01:13:49.100 --> 01:13:50.680
HI CARLES. HOW ARE YOU?

01:13:51.060 --> 01:13:52.820
I\'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOUR OFFER.

01:13:53.020 --> 01:13:55.820
CAN WE MEET?

01:13:56.200 --> 01:13:58.460
All I can say is, I\'ll take note of it
and I\'ll look into it...

01:13:58.920 --> 01:14:02.650
I can\'t solve it.

01:14:06.300 --> 01:14:07.560
Right now,

01:14:08.390 --> 01:14:10.300
how would you define yourself?

01:14:10.940 --> 01:14:13.020
- How do I define myself?
- Yes.

01:14:14.340 --> 01:14:15.440
First of all, I\'m a woman.

01:14:15.550 --> 01:14:20.310
I think that it\'s something
I have to reclaim nowadays.

01:14:23.910 --> 01:14:27.720
When sometimes, my identity
is still in question.

01:14:28.680 --> 01:14:32.360
When people that I meet
question me

01:14:32.470 --> 01:14:38.410
or talk to me in masculine form,
or hurt me during my transition.

01:14:38.520 --> 01:14:41.570
I feel the need to claim
that I\'m a woman,

01:14:41.680 --> 01:14:43.450
and also...

01:14:46.870 --> 01:14:50.670
because of what happened to me recently,

01:14:50.780 --> 01:14:54.200
sometimes I have the feeling

01:14:55.150 --> 01:14:59.730
that I\'m still very much a child.
I\'m a total dreamer.

01:14:59.840 --> 01:15:03.330
Maybe a little naïve, ingenuous.

01:15:06.780 --> 01:15:11.590
It\'s something that I\'d like to change.

01:15:12.010 --> 01:15:15.970
To become someone with a stronger
personality, more empowered...

01:15:16.080 --> 01:15:21.080
I don\'t know if this might be useful,
I haven\'t known you very long,

01:15:21.500 --> 01:15:24.530
but I think you have a lot of character.

01:15:25.900 --> 01:15:28.320
A lot of character!

01:15:28.640 --> 01:15:31.850
You have plenty of conditions,
and qualities to spare

01:15:31.960 --> 01:15:34.620
to do this project.

01:15:34.730 --> 01:15:35.750
Okay.

01:15:36.140 --> 01:15:41.050
On one hand you said:
\"I don\'t want to be different.\"

01:15:41.160 --> 01:15:45.800
But on the other hand,
I know you have a strong,

01:15:45.910 --> 01:15:48.140
artistic personality,

01:15:48.250 --> 01:15:51.070
that you\'ve been looking
a lot for this identity of your own.

01:15:51.180 --> 01:15:53.370
This difference, even with your look...

01:15:54.590 --> 01:15:57.920
So, I\'d like you to talk to me
a little about...

01:15:59.070 --> 01:16:01.220
Is this a contradiction for you?

01:16:02.390 --> 01:16:04.280
At this point in my life

01:16:04.390 --> 01:16:08.600
I see that it\'s something negative
for me to be different.

01:16:08.740 --> 01:16:13.560
I\'d like to fit in the world,
with people.

01:16:13.670 --> 01:16:16.540
But I see that\'s not the case.

01:16:16.790 --> 01:16:18.110
It\'s true that there\'s a part of me

01:16:18.220 --> 01:16:20.250
that likes to transgress with fashion...

01:16:20.640 --> 01:16:23.230
I like to use this means of expression

01:16:23.340 --> 01:16:27.230
but I have to be very feminine too.

01:16:27.450 --> 01:16:29.970
Often others remind me of my condition,

01:16:30.080 --> 01:16:33.710
and I feel more masculine than ever.
That\'s the hardest thing to deal with.

01:16:33.820 --> 01:16:36.140
Because that\'s what
everyone else sees in me.

01:16:36.730 --> 01:16:38.880
But, after all, I don\'t see it.

01:16:38.990 --> 01:16:42.620
A very easy example,
with boys...

01:16:42.930 --> 01:16:45.420
I feel like...

01:16:48.540 --> 01:16:49.930
I\'ll end up alone.

01:16:52.280 --> 01:16:53.930
- But...
- Because no one loves me.

01:16:54.950 --> 01:16:56.130
I mean...

01:16:58.260 --> 01:17:01.350
It\'s great to have me as a friend,
as...

01:17:05.170 --> 01:17:08.090
But I\'ll never be someone\'s woman,

01:17:08.200 --> 01:17:12.110
or someone\'s wife
or just someone\'s girlfriend.

01:17:16.340 --> 01:17:17.350
I don\'t know.

01:17:18.010 --> 01:17:20.630
Boys don\'t want to be
with me because...

01:17:22.290 --> 01:17:23.500
I\'m not...

01:17:25.450 --> 01:17:29.420
I\'m not perfect enough for them.

01:17:33.720 --> 01:17:35.530
I don\'t know how to say this.

01:17:36.410 --> 01:17:38.530
Raphi, do you realise that...?

01:17:38.640 --> 01:17:40.640
I think you\'re very capable of doing it.

01:17:40.750 --> 01:17:44.100
But do you realise that there will
be a lot of people watching you.

01:17:44.210 --> 01:17:45.450
That we are working

01:17:45.800 --> 01:17:47.970
about the people
that are watching you.

01:17:48.490 --> 01:17:50.140
And you are letting them watch you.

01:17:50.450 --> 01:17:51.430
Okay?

01:17:52.300 --> 01:17:53.340
Okay.

01:18:04.480 --> 01:18:05.740
Come in.

01:18:10.730 --> 01:18:12.720
I can\'t believe it!

01:18:14.670 --> 01:18:16.690
Wow!

01:18:18.610 --> 01:18:21.370
- Wow!
- Does it look big?

01:18:24.090 --> 01:18:26.940
Okay, now
we have to make sure

01:18:27.050 --> 01:18:28.530
you are in the light.

01:18:28.830 --> 01:18:30.340
- Okay.
- Okay?

01:18:30.940 --> 01:18:32.430
Whenever you\'re ready, Raphi.

01:18:33.530 --> 01:18:36.380
I feel excluded
from the representation of the sexes.

01:18:36.490 --> 01:18:40.700
Why aren\'t there trans mannequins?
Man, woman. What does it mean?

01:18:40.840 --> 01:18:42.960
Who is to say how a man should be?

01:18:43.070 --> 01:18:44.950
Or how a woman should be?

01:18:45.060 --> 01:18:47.710
To fit in, or not to fit in?

01:18:47.870 --> 01:18:50.850
Be who they expect you to be
or be yourself?

01:18:50.960 --> 01:18:52.570
For me, that\'s the question.

01:18:52.680 --> 01:18:57.240
Sorry,
just one step back, and stand here.

01:18:57.350 --> 01:18:59.330
Do you feel the heat here?

01:18:59.440 --> 01:19:00.940
- Okay.
- That\'s it.

01:19:01.050 --> 01:19:02.710
- Much better!
- Thank you, Llorenç.

01:19:02.820 --> 01:19:04.640
- Thanks a lot.
- You\'re welcome.

01:19:04.760 --> 01:19:08.350
Okay, so let\'s do it again.
This is the position, OK?

01:19:08.460 --> 01:19:09.760
- Perfect. Great.
- Okay?

01:19:09.870 --> 01:19:12.030
Eugenio, can we repeat the scene?

01:19:13.930 --> 01:19:16.930
I don\'t know if it\'s a typical comment,
but why do you torture yourself so much?

01:19:17.040 --> 01:19:19.430
I see you as a very attractive girl.

01:19:21.080 --> 01:19:24.680
Well, I don\'t torture myself,
but I see the truth. I mean...

01:19:25.790 --> 01:19:30.010
After all, when...

01:19:31.190 --> 01:19:33.940
when I start a relationship
with someone or whatever

01:19:34.050 --> 01:19:36.300
the boys always run away.

01:19:36.410 --> 01:19:38.210
Perhaps I\'m attractive,
but then what?

01:19:39.120 --> 01:19:42.460
Sometimes I feel like
I\'m a fucking image, and nothing else?

01:19:42.570 --> 01:19:45.510
- A lot of disappointments?
- Disappointments?

01:19:45.710 --> 01:19:48.190
Well, yeah, a lot...

01:19:48.300 --> 01:19:50.190
You haven\'t met your prince charming?

01:19:52.820 --> 01:19:55.200
I\'m not even looking
for a prince charming.

01:19:55.300 --> 01:19:57.720
I don\'t know
why are you say that, but...

01:19:59.670 --> 01:20:02.270
I\'m looking for company at least.

01:20:02.380 --> 01:20:04.360
You aren\'t looking for
a prince charming,

01:20:04.460 --> 01:20:05.520
but someone...

01:20:05.660 --> 01:20:06.780
to share with...

01:20:06.890 --> 01:20:09.050
- Yes, totally.
- Someone to trust in...

01:20:09.160 --> 01:20:10.730
Yes exactly.

01:20:11.870 --> 01:20:15.380
Someone to merge with,
to be one with, to become...

01:20:15.490 --> 01:20:16.700
- Of course.
- So nice.

01:20:16.810 --> 01:20:18.870
- You don\'t?
- That\'s bullshit.

01:20:18.980 --> 01:20:22.440
- What do you mean that\'s bullshit?
- I don\'t want it. I pass.

01:20:23.180 --> 01:20:25.580
I think
that people are born alone,

01:20:25.690 --> 01:20:29.920
we die alone, and on that path
which can be short or long,

01:20:30.030 --> 01:20:33.530
we will meet different partners
who can even be simultaneous.

01:20:33.890 --> 01:20:35.830
For me this Disney fairy tale

01:20:35.980 --> 01:20:39.230
about the love of my life,
my other half...

01:20:39.760 --> 01:20:41.300
I am already whole.

01:20:41.410 --> 01:20:43.500
I don\'t want to be with a half.

01:20:43.610 --> 01:20:46.110
I\'m whole on my own.

01:20:46.960 --> 01:20:48.330
And do you live well with that?

01:20:48.440 --> 01:20:50.600
I live however I can.

01:20:51.070 --> 01:20:53.790
What you\'re telling me
is very beautiful, but...

01:20:53.900 --> 01:20:57.440
unfortunately, I don\'t seem to find...

01:20:57.550 --> 01:20:59.950
those partners that easy.

01:21:00.060 --> 01:21:02.530
The few boys
that are interested in me...

01:21:05.610 --> 01:21:07.260
- Hi!
- What do you mean hi?

01:21:07.370 --> 01:21:08.760
I\'m interested.

01:21:08.870 --> 01:21:11.260
You\'re interested.
And what\'s gonna happen then?

01:21:11.370 --> 01:21:13.630
- What\'s gonna happen?
- Nothing.

01:21:13.950 --> 01:21:16.540
Well, if you´re going to be like that,
nothing will happen.

01:21:16.870 --> 01:21:20.110
And if it doesn\'t,
but something just as beautiful happens?

01:21:21.160 --> 01:21:22.940
- How...?
- Let\'s go with the flow

01:21:23.050 --> 01:21:25.660
Yes, sure, we go with the flow,
and tomorrow?

01:21:25.770 --> 01:21:27.750
Tomorrow is tomorrow!

01:23:03.690 --> 01:23:07.390
We could talk for hours
about what \"normal\" means, but...

01:23:07.560 --> 01:23:09.630
the separation that you see,

01:23:10.060 --> 01:23:12.830
and the violence that you feel
sometimes,

01:23:12.940 --> 01:23:14.480
we don\'t have it.

01:23:14.590 --> 01:23:19.170
- In the play, right.
- I think we need to take that route.

01:23:20.660 --> 01:23:22.330
I want to be strong.

01:23:22.920 --> 01:23:25.130
I want to be able to face any look.

01:23:25.970 --> 01:23:28.630
And then I think
and feel with my entire being

01:23:30.070 --> 01:23:31.620
that I cannot go back

01:23:32.410 --> 01:23:36.040
because I can\'t let
those looks break me.

01:23:36.760 --> 01:23:38.730
I can\'t take a step back.

01:23:38.950 --> 01:23:41.430
If I do, nothing would have made sense.

01:23:41.980 --> 01:23:43.820
If I do it, I give in to fear,

01:23:44.180 --> 01:23:45.990
to their desires.

01:23:46.860 --> 01:23:48.620
I give in to them,

01:23:49.330 --> 01:23:51.530
to those that look violently,

01:23:52.010 --> 01:23:54.530
to those that treat you like an object.

01:23:55.340 --> 01:23:57.870
None of us can give a step back.

01:23:58.170 --> 01:24:00.210
No trans or cis woman,

01:24:00.320 --> 01:24:01.610
or whatever.

01:24:02.240 --> 01:24:04.720
How long will we
have to deal with this superiority?

01:24:04.970 --> 01:24:07.430
This arrogance that\'s everywhere.

01:24:07.680 --> 01:24:09.650
Sometimes in a very obvious way,

01:24:10.460 --> 01:24:12.910
other times very subtle.

01:24:13.620 --> 01:24:16.500
How dare you?
Why do you dress so strange?

01:24:16.610 --> 01:24:20.520
What are you?
Why are you so different?

01:24:21.610 --> 01:24:23.430
I don\'t want them to devour me.

01:24:23.670 --> 01:24:25.430
I want to be who I am.

01:24:26.370 --> 01:24:28.000
To the boy that I was.

01:24:28.520 --> 01:24:30.600
To the girl I was without knowing it.

01:24:31.430 --> 01:24:33.430
To you, who I don\'t even know.

01:24:33.850 --> 01:24:36.390
To you, who I love
without even knowing you.

01:24:36.940 --> 01:24:39.310
To you, an image in my mind.

01:24:39.930 --> 01:24:41.340
I am Raphaëlle.

01:24:43.550 --> 01:24:45.910
Damn, this text is intense.

01:24:48.830 --> 01:24:49.840
Yes.

01:24:52.820 --> 01:24:53.450
So...

01:24:54.920 --> 01:24:57.230
Is it OK?
Can we work with this?

01:25:00.530 --> 01:25:02.680
It comes from the things you told me.

01:25:02.790 --> 01:25:06.040
They\'re your words, your experience...

01:25:08.370 --> 01:25:13.320
If you identify yourself in the text,
we\'ll try it in a scene.

01:25:13.430 --> 01:25:15.340
Yes, I see myself, but...

01:25:15.950 --> 01:25:18.030
I think it will be very hard.

01:25:20.720 --> 01:25:23.640
I don\'t know, I don\'t think I\'m capable.

01:25:25.580 --> 01:25:27.950
What are you? How dare you?

01:25:28.060 --> 01:25:29.720
You dress so weird.

01:25:30.510 --> 01:25:32.110
Who do you think you are?

01:25:32.220 --> 01:25:35.420
Why are you so different?

01:25:35.960 --> 01:25:37.560
I start counting the stops.

01:25:37.670 --> 01:25:39.970
They are like pieces
of Paris history.

01:25:40.080 --> 01:25:41.340
The voice that announces

01:25:41.440 --> 01:25:43.360
and pronounces
with different inflections.

01:25:43.460 --> 01:25:45.630
I always liked this detail.

01:25:59.550 --> 01:26:02.000
From this moment on...

01:26:02.220 --> 01:26:06.650
I leave behind the sparkling
and elegant Paris, the Paris of dreams.

01:26:06.760 --> 01:26:09.530
This is the real world, dark,

01:26:09.750 --> 01:26:12.410
dangerous, violent.

01:26:12.890 --> 01:26:14.620
This is the real world,

01:26:14.730 --> 01:26:17.470
dark, dangerous,

01:26:17.750 --> 01:26:18.940
violent.

01:26:19.050 --> 01:26:21.910
Two men are looking at me.
At me? Impossible.

01:26:23.650 --> 01:26:26.030
Yes,
they look at me, up and down, staring.

01:26:26.140 --> 01:26:29.500
It\'s more than curiosity,
it\'s perverse, disgusting.

01:26:29.610 --> 01:26:31.240
They come near me,

01:26:31.400 --> 01:26:34.640
I get up, I go to the door
to be closer to the exit.

01:26:34.750 --> 01:26:36.630
They must be coming for me.

01:26:36.970 --> 01:26:38.780
I arrive at the third...

01:26:39.230 --> 01:26:41.000
- I run up the stairs.
- Okay, let\'s start again.

01:26:41.110 --> 01:26:42.730
- From here!
- From here?

01:26:42.840 --> 01:26:44.970
Yes. Calm down! Don\'t speed up!

01:26:45.560 --> 01:26:48.230
Hey! What are you doing?

01:26:48.370 --> 01:26:50.630
- I\'m putting this on.
- Let me see.

01:26:50.920 --> 01:26:52.290
- Are you nervous?
- Yes.

01:26:52.400 --> 01:26:53.610
- Me too.
- You too?

01:26:53.720 --> 01:26:55.530
A lot. Look.

01:26:56.660 --> 01:26:58.330
- Am I nervous or what?
- Yes.

01:26:58.440 --> 01:26:59.730
Yes, right?

01:27:15.440 --> 01:27:16.910
Fuck!

01:27:23.600 --> 01:27:26.570
- No.
- No? Okay, that\'s it.

01:27:30.650 --> 01:27:32.230
Stop, stop!

01:27:32.980 --> 01:27:35.320
- Why?
- Because I don\'t want to come yet.

01:27:35.430 --> 01:27:36.780
- Don\'t you?
- Wait.

01:27:36.890 --> 01:27:38.410
- Why?
- You first.

01:27:38.520 --> 01:27:40.110
- Why?
- You first.

01:27:59.310 --> 01:28:02.230
- She leaves her hideout.
- Okay.

01:28:02.520 --> 01:28:04.490
Does the whole monologue...

01:28:04.650 --> 01:28:06.370
My cue is
\"what does it mean to be a woman.\"

01:28:06.580 --> 01:28:08.260
I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND

01:28:08.580 --> 01:28:09.660
I DON\'T KNOW

01:28:14.460 --> 01:28:16.600
IF YOU\'RE FREE, I\'D LIKE TO SEE YOU

01:28:30.720 --> 01:28:32.010
- How are you?
- Hi.

01:28:32.120 --> 01:28:34.610
- How are you?
- Fine, you?

01:28:34.720 --> 01:28:35.730
- Fine.
- Yes?

01:28:35.840 --> 01:28:39.810
Well, I don\'t know, everything ended...
well \"ended\"... I mean...

01:28:40.440 --> 01:28:42.730
Yes, it ended.
Because you disappeared!

01:28:42.830 --> 01:28:44.100
I didn\'t disappear!

01:28:44.200 --> 01:28:45.340
I mean...

01:28:45.590 --> 01:28:48.730
- You avoided me.
- You\'re a bit extreme, aren\'t you?

01:28:48.970 --> 01:28:52.110
Maybe,
but, what do you want me to say?

01:28:52.220 --> 01:28:54.710
- I don\'t know.
- You\'re always over the top.

01:28:55.250 --> 01:28:56.030
Yeah.

01:28:56.290 --> 01:28:58.190
But I\'d like to know why.

01:28:58.300 --> 01:29:02.430
It was really intense for me.
I wasn\'t...

01:29:03.490 --> 01:29:05.980
looking for a relationship
or something stable.

01:29:06.090 --> 01:29:08.200
- I noticed that you were...
- But we didn\'t say that.

01:29:08.310 --> 01:29:11.470
- We didn\'t even talk about that.
- I know...

01:29:11.580 --> 01:29:13.200
But I noticed you were pulling

01:29:13.310 --> 01:29:16.380
harder than I was ready for.

01:29:17.230 --> 01:29:18.250
I also noticed things.

01:29:19.530 --> 01:29:24.550
I\'m in a place where
I\'m getting my shit together again...

01:29:25.500 --> 01:29:27.880
I don\'t know, maybe I need more time...

01:29:27.990 --> 01:29:29.240
I don\'t know
if I explained myself.

01:29:29.350 --> 01:29:31.880
And it also scared you
to be with me.

01:29:33.000 --> 01:29:34.870
A little, yeah.

01:29:35.590 --> 01:29:38.140
- Out of ignorance...
- Ignorance?

01:29:38.250 --> 01:29:40.110
I also have my doubts.

01:29:40.740 --> 01:29:42.770
This is completely new to me.

01:29:42.880 --> 01:29:46.300
I mean, I understand that for you

01:29:46.410 --> 01:29:50.280
it has not been easy to accept
a relationship with a trans girl

01:29:50.390 --> 01:29:52.220
for all that it involves...

01:29:54.280 --> 01:29:56.430
To your...

01:29:57.670 --> 01:30:01.710
friends, the approval...

01:30:01.820 --> 01:30:03.660
But I\'m not talking
about going that far...

01:30:03.770 --> 01:30:07.670
I addressed the topic
as best I could...

01:30:07.780 --> 01:30:09.850
But I didn\'t know

01:30:11.050 --> 01:30:14.540
how to touch you,
what you were comfortable with or not.

01:30:15.070 --> 01:30:16.950
It was there, it was like a taboo.

01:30:18.070 --> 01:30:21.320
Maybe you didn\'t know
how to do it and I...

01:30:22.500 --> 01:30:23.990
didn\'t know how to address the issue,

01:30:24.820 --> 01:30:27.210
or how to talk about it
in a mature way.

01:30:28.530 --> 01:30:30.710
But if you don\'t guide me a little,

01:30:31.850 --> 01:30:33.640
it\'s difficult for me.

01:30:33.980 --> 01:30:39.080
Yeah, I understand perfectly.
It wasn\'t easy for anyone.

01:30:40.590 --> 01:30:45.660
It\'s a shame that we couldn\'t
verbalise it at the time.

01:30:45.770 --> 01:30:48.170
Now, it\'s three months later.

01:30:49.120 --> 01:30:52.300
- But it\'s not a lost cause, isn\'t it?
- No, I know.

01:30:53.160 --> 01:30:57.610
I don\'t even know if you want

01:30:58.060 --> 01:30:59.860
us to continue seeing each other...

01:31:00.260 --> 01:31:02.230
I don\'t know
if you are dating someone...

01:31:03.180 --> 01:31:05.310
If I\'m dating someone? No.

01:31:07.990 --> 01:31:10.630
- No? Are you sure?
- Yes, why?

01:31:10.740 --> 01:31:12.520
Because you\'re smiling.

01:31:16.340 --> 01:31:19.090
- It\'s like you\'re in a divan...
- Divan?

01:31:19.200 --> 01:31:22.480
I feel like a psychoanalyst
and you\'re my patient.

01:31:22.590 --> 01:31:25.000
- I love it!
- Yeah? Can I ask you questions?

01:31:25.110 --> 01:31:27.550
- Of course.
- I turn away a bit,

01:31:27.660 --> 01:31:30.530
like they do
to avoid eye contact...

01:31:31.960 --> 01:31:33.130
It\'s true, they do that!

01:31:33.240 --> 01:31:34.460
- Oh, really?
- Of course.

01:31:34.570 --> 01:31:37.720
You\'re French, I\'d create
a big psychoanalysis school there...

01:31:38.230 --> 01:31:40.460
So I can ask you...

01:31:42.700 --> 01:31:44.730
What do you like the most about sex?

01:31:45.540 --> 01:31:47.930
- What do I like the most?
- Yes.

01:31:54.100 --> 01:31:57.660
Maybe it sounds stupid,
but the presence of the other person.

01:31:58.070 --> 01:31:59.290
It doesn\'t sound stupid.

01:32:01.860 --> 01:32:04.220
I thought that with a vagina,

01:32:04.320 --> 01:32:06.700
I would be accepted
and desired by a boy.

01:32:07.590 --> 01:32:08.620
Yeah.

01:32:12.220 --> 01:32:15.530
- But that doesn\'t guarantee anything.
- No, I mean...

01:32:16.070 --> 01:32:18.520
I can\'t do anything.
I can\'t even go to a private clinic,

01:32:18.630 --> 01:32:20.560
because I don\'t have the money, so...

01:32:20.670 --> 01:32:22.490
So I have to wait and...

01:32:25.400 --> 01:32:28.830
I think that now it\'s time
for me to accept myself.

01:32:28.940 --> 01:32:31.620
And that\'s it.
I take these three years to...

01:32:33.020 --> 01:32:35.310
see where they take me...

01:32:37.550 --> 01:32:39.170
And that\'s it, I come first.

01:32:39.280 --> 01:32:40.420
You come first.

01:32:44.780 --> 01:32:47.430
This is me at 4 years old.

01:32:50.190 --> 01:32:54.140
And this is me
a little younger, at 2 years old.

01:32:57.170 --> 01:33:01.320
And this is Raphi,
about 24 years ago.

01:33:07.260 --> 01:33:10.610
I\'m hiding
like I did for many years.

01:33:11.430 --> 01:33:13.320
I\'m not an actress.

01:33:13.510 --> 01:33:16.220
But I can lie, pretend,

01:33:16.940 --> 01:33:18.310
I\'m good at that.

01:33:18.910 --> 01:33:21.180
I played a role for 20 years,

01:33:21.480 --> 01:33:24.230
but the day arrived
when I decided to cross the line,

01:33:24.730 --> 01:33:27.320
the border, the limit.

01:33:32.860 --> 01:33:34.220
What are you?

01:33:35.000 --> 01:33:36.710
How dare you?

01:33:37.810 --> 01:33:39.550
You dress so weird!

01:33:40.410 --> 01:33:42.220
Who do you think you are?

01:33:42.730 --> 01:33:44.120
Why are you so,

01:33:45.080 --> 01:33:46.520
so different?

01:33:46.870 --> 01:33:51.080
I leave behind the sparkling
and elegant Paris, the Paris of dreams.

01:33:51.370 --> 01:33:53.210
This is the real world.

01:33:54.710 --> 01:33:56.910
You have gender dysphoria.

01:33:57.200 --> 01:33:58.560
No one will love you
in this body.

01:33:58.670 --> 01:33:59.970
Don\'t look for me.

01:34:00.430 --> 01:34:03.100
Don\'t look, don\'t answer,
don\'t listen.

01:34:03.980 --> 01:34:06.690
I\'m sorry, it feels really weird
to refer to you in the feminine form.

01:34:07.170 --> 01:34:08.680
Do your parents support you?

01:34:08.790 --> 01:34:11.170
You\' should speak with a professional.

01:34:11.820 --> 01:34:13.410
I love you.

01:34:13.970 --> 01:34:16.910
Are you sure?
You won\'t be able to turn back.

01:34:18.590 --> 01:34:19.660
Do you masturbate?

01:34:19.770 --> 01:34:21.770
I want you to fuck me from behind.

01:34:25.900 --> 01:34:27.730
You can\'t leave me like this.

01:34:31.190 --> 01:34:34.780
Good morning.
How can I help you?

01:35:08.130 --> 01:35:09.150
Raphi!

01:35:10.330 --> 01:35:12.000
Come and toast with me!

01:35:12.930 --> 01:35:14.420
Oops, the glass!

01:35:29.020 --> 01:35:31.230
Put as much as you want.

01:35:33.750 --> 01:35:35.890
- I\'m your masterpiece.
- A little more?

01:36:00.980 --> 01:36:02.860
IN MEMORY OF PATRICIA PEREZ (1966-2020)

01:38:03.520 --> 01:38:07.110
Subtitles: Mecal Subt